Change in Relationships

For this last Friday of the month I thought we’d talk about relationships.  It can be really easy to forget or ignore the responsibilities we have in our relationships.  The longer we’re with someone, the less effort we put into a relationship, the harder it will be to maintain the health of that relationship.  When a relationship starts to struggle you’ve got the choice of letting it go or working to make it stronger.

“For lasting change to occur, you need to both think your way into new behaviors and behave your way into new thinking.”  Paul and Layne Cutright

This is not only a challenge for each of us in our relationships but also in our own lives.  If we really want improve our lives and relationships our words, thoughts and actions all have to change.  We have to make a conscious choice to do things differently, to think differently, and to speak differently.  None of these things are easy by themselves, let alone together.  But if we want truly healthy lives, families and relationships, it’s necessary.

The second part of the challenge here is that not only do we personally have to change our lives, our partners have to agree to do the same.   If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you notice that I typically refer to relationships as partnerships rather than any of the other terms that people use.  Why?  Because I believe that partnership better verbalizes the commitment, both in words and actions, from both people when it comes to a romantic relationship.  A relationship has so many subtitles and meanings that I can say I’ve got a great relationship with my neighbor’s dog, even when all I ever do is pet the dog and greet it, which is totally different from two people truly working together in all areas of their lives, and especially the ones that join them together.

Fall is a great time to start making the changes necessary to bring your partnership back to health as you’ve got several months of being indoors together.  As I’ve said many times, the first place to start is both of you admitting that there is room for improvement and choosing how to go about making those changes.  Take time this week to have a conversation with your partner about what’s going on in your partnership.

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