Vulnerable Relationships

This week I challenge you to stand up and ask your partner for some help, support or a favor.  I’m not talking about the things you always ask them to do like clean up the kitchen or put their clothes in the hamper, I’m talking about something that shows them that you need them.  Like asking them to pick you up a coffee when you’re not feeling well, or asking them to listen while you share about something troubling you at work, or asking them to set aside time for just the two of you to be alone.  Yes, you’ll be vulnerable because they’ll know that you don’t have everything together, yes they’ll hear the struggle you’re going through. But those are things that can make a relationship stronger if only you let them help you and you help them.  There are several reasons why this is important, and can really help your relationship.

First, it shows you’re not all strengths.  When you admit you’re not perfect it’s easier for other people to work with you and partner with you in life.  If you talk and act like you can do it all, people forget after a while that you may not be able to do it all and just assume that you can always do it all.  When you have sick days (which of course being a strong person you never do), the whole world seems to fall apart because everyone around you is so used to you doing and being everything.

Second, it makes for a partnership. I usually avoid the word relationship when talking with clients and friends and refer to these parings as partnerships because it helps people create different connections and associations in their minds.  A partnership cannot exist without two or more people working together.  A relationship can be more one sided, which leads to dissatisfaction, and often separation.  In this partnership it is essential to not only support each other, but intentionally ask how you can better support your partner and the partnership you have.

Finally, it builds trust.  Trust is something that everyone works towards and is hard to repair once it’s been broken.  Trust takes time to build because we’ve all had people lie to us and be underwhelmed by delivery of promises.  When you are open and honest with your partner it’s a chance to weave that relationship a little tighter and stronger.  Not only will that help in the long run, it helps with the present situations too.

Don’t hide your needs from your partner.  Being open and honest may be a little scary at first, but the more you do it the stronger both of you and your relationship will be!

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