Why Not Me?

As I was contemplating this ever festive (and annoying for some) holiday (Valentine’s Day), the question that popped up over and over again was one you may have asked in the past or may ask in the future: why not me?  You may be asked this by your tearful teenage daughter who just got dumped, you may be asked by your soon-to-be-ex partner who can’t believe that life as they knew it was about to change, or even by the little child who didn’t get picked or got picked last for something.  It’s a simple fact of life: you are not the answer to everything, you are not the supreme savior everyone has been waiting for.

Before you grab your torches to burn me alive (or click the unsubscribe button), let me state very clearly that I think you’re *amazing*.  You do have qualities that make this world an infinitely better place.  You’ve got abilities that I can’t begin to match.  You have untold values you can add to the world.  And you’re exactly right for at least one other person in the world.  The delusion begins when we believe we are everything to everyone, or that we have to be.

If you want to be wildly successful in life, work and your relationships first accept that you are amazing and have value.  This is a big issue for many people; they simply can’t understand that they have value.  Unfortunately all too often we’re told how seemingly little value we have by teachers, peers or bosses.  It hurts.  But more important: it’s not true.  You have a very important role to play in this world, you just have to discover it.

Secondly, accept that you aren’t responsible for everything and everyone.  This is a tough one for us self professed helpers.  We like to help, but it’s not up to us to help everyone.  It’s OK to not be picked first, or picked every time.  Trust me that there are  plenty of opportunities for all of us to have a turn.

Finally, we have to jump in there when we can help.  Don’t be afraid of getting burned again, step up when your particular talents and skills are needed.  When you can encourage others in their roles too, everyone needs an encouraging word or pat on the back occasionally.

Today, spend time loving yourself, and then go out there and show love to someone else too.

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