Holding out for Honesty

I’m a big believer in honesty. I always have been, ever since I was old enough to recognize that funny feeling in my stomach for what it was. It isn’t always easy to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, our lives are so public thanks to Facebook and Google that we want to keep some things hidden away. Sometimes we hide those things because we’re scared of the thoughts and judgments of other people on our choices, but as those who have influence over kids, there are a few things we should never lie about.

1-love. It’s a tough topic, one that causes a lot of pain when things go south. But love isn’t something to lie about to a kid, they need to know almost more than anything else that you love them unconditionally.  Too many kids go to bed wondering if they’re loved and wondering if it’s their fault their parents don’t love them, don’t be that parent.

2-a better tomorrow. When we choose to live with the attitude that tomorrow and the day after and the month after and the year after will just get worse and worse, we’re setting our kids up to see life with the glass-almost-empty perspective, rather than letting them draw their own conclusions. If you can’t believe that the very next day will be better, you have to be confident in a better day very soon.

3-people are not evil. Yes, there are some bad eggs out there. But if you raise your kids to believe that everyone is bad, there are no good people, all people are stupid, or any other refrain you wish your kids will believe that. You may have had some bad experiences, but that is no reason to taint every relationship your kids will ever have, personal or professional.

We can bend the truth a little when it comes to money, sickness/death, sex and jobs for a time, because causing your kids to worry more than necessary isn’t right, they’ll have plenty of worries soon enough. The older your kids get the more it will be important for you to be more honest with them, because if you, their parents, are lying to them, you whom they’ve always trusted, what’s not to say that the rest of the world isn’t lying too?

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