This week we’re finishing up a look at 3 things you can do to improve your relationship with your partner. We’ve already talked about communication and meeting each other’s needs, so this week we’re talking about the importance of a regular date night. I’m a huge believer in date nights. No, I don’t believe you have to go out every week and spend tons of money on extravagant shows or restaurants, or even stay out more than 3 or 4 hours. You also don’t have to go out at night if your schedules don’t allow it, day dates are lots of fun too. But a date is designed to somewhat isolate you and your partner and give you the chance to strengthen your relationship, appreciate each other and be grown ups.
Date nights are especially important when kids join the picture. Kids are great and I don’t believe that parents should dump them on schools, afterschool programs or nannies and leave the teaching and raising to them. But no one can parent alone and kids do add complications to your relationship that make it necessary to take a break sometimes because while they’re part of your relationship they can’t be the whole thing. When that line is crossed it can cause long lasting damage to your relationship because it’s no longer your relationship, but a relationship that is overly influenced by others.
Dates give you and your partner the chance to be yourselves again and be adults, not adults with kids. If you don’t take the time to be adults and enjoy adult pleasures you’re missing out on living a truly full life. Kids make your life very full, but there is more to life than just other people. Sometimes it’s necessary to be selfish and take some time for yourself and get some perspective, not to mention relax. Going out gives you two the chance to strengthen that connection that brought you together and keeps you together and strong despite the challenges you face.
When you are no longer intentional about making time for you and your partner to be alone, do fun things or just be quiet together the chance of fights, broken relationships and divorce dramatically increases. Your relationship can only thrive when you put actual time and effort into it. When that’s not there, there’s nothing to keep the relationship healthy and strong. You will always have a bond because of your child, but it won’t be enough to truly satisfy you in your relationship and keep it going healthy and strong.