We’ve entered the last 2 months of the year, months that are often fraught with frustrations for partners. We “discuss” (read: fight about) parties, family events, and amounts to be spent on presents. We’re really good at missing out on the reason for the season (and I’m not just talking about the spiritual portions of Hanukkah and Christmas but even the secular tales like Scrooge and Santa and what they stand for). Come to think of it, the rest of the year looks like a slightly less tumultuous version of these last two months. What have our relationships come to?
This is one of the biggest reason why I don’t like to call them relationships, and have even gotten my partner into changing his terminology about us. I prefer, as you may have guessed or have read about in the past, to call them partnerships because this clearly indicates in the very name of it that there has to be action and effort by both/all people involved. One person can’t do all of the work, or be all of the emotional support or do none of it and have it be a real partnership, or successful one.
This is part of the reason that we have so many divorces: we don’t get involved with people that are willing to put forth their required effort and do their part to make the relationship work, or we aren’t. When one or both of the people involved are apathetic the relationship falls apart pretty quick. For love to be true and last you have to be willing to put forward effort to support your partner and be responsible for your own happiness.
Calling it a partnership isn’t about being politically correct, it’s about recognizing the true nature and needs of the people and how they work together. In a true partnership everyone contributes something. Typical business partnerships have money people, idea people and action people that work together to make it happen. Our relationships are like that: we each must bring something to the table to be part of the partnership. We each have physical and emotional contributions that we need to be making to keep our partnership alive. What will you do this week to turn your relationship into more of a partnership and less of a one-sided struggle?
“There is no love where there is no will.” Indira Gandhi