Discovering the Whole Story

Every story has two sides, or at least those that involve just 2 people do.  I’m a big believer in the truth, I don’t like being lied to and I don’t really see the point of beating around the bush most of the time.  Yes, sometimes a little lie or partial truth is the way to go rather than being in your face honest about some things, but that’s usually because we’re not really good with our words and haven’t learned how to put things diplomatically, or we haven’t learned how to take criticism and honesty, but most of the time it’s just better to go with the truth.

But all too often we assume that things are true for everyone because they’re true for us. However I may believe that the world is better because dogs are in it and you may prefer casts.  Just because my belief is my truth, doesn’t mean it has to be your truth. Which is why it’s so important when you’re in a relationship that you learn not to jump to unfounded conclusions, but rather to check in with your partner and make sure you’re on the same page.

All too often it’s a difference of just a page or two that can cause the most difficulties.  Divorce rates are so high not because people have become completely different than they used to be when they first entered the relationship but because of the little things: the continued failure to communicate the little things, the chores that go undone, the requests that fall on deaf ears, the apathy towards the needs and desires of their partner.  It’s not desires to move to Alaska or Africa or become a Buddhist monk or stripper that breaks up most couples, it’s little things that just get piled on top of each other time and again.

If we really want our relationships to succeed and we really want to be happy together we need to spend more time in making sure that we’re hearing what the other person is saying and in need of.  When you’re able to work together and have come to compromises and created action plans on how the most important things will get accomplished you’re able to not only stay together but be happy together.  But if you or your partner aren’t willing to change or to accept that there is always another side to the story it won’t work.  Will you be brave enough to get the truth from your partner this week?

“In seeking truth you have to get both sides of a story.” Walter Cronkite

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