We do a really good job of writing to-do lists, adding on responsibilities, holding grudges, slacking off and making things as difficult as possible in all areas of life including our relationships. We usually let our relationships go and put the littlest possible attention into them because we don’t care, don’t think it’s necessary, don’t think it should be that much work, don’t think our partner is worth it, don’t think our partner puts forward the effort we do, or are too busy keeping the other plates of our life up and spinning and just can’t do one more thing. What I’ve learned with my partner is that by putting us towards the top of my list, not the bottom, my life is much simpler, happier, and smoother. It’s easier to make choices because I’ve already chosen us, and if it conflicts with us it’s probably not what I’m going to choose. As we look to Valentine’s Day in a little over a week I thought I’d share a few simple things that don’t take much time or effort that you can do for your partner, yourself and your relationship this Valentine’s Day.
Text/email more often. Take the 30 seconds two or three times throughout the day to just shoot your partner a little something funny, impression, thing that reminded you (in a good way) of them, or thought of love.
Take time to listen. I’m a good listener but I know that I don’t remember much. I try to remember what’s super super important, but honesty, it doesn’t usually go so well unless it’s a *very* habitual thing. So I get in the habit of writing just about everything down. When my partner brings up important dates I make sure to grab a pen and write it down on paper or in my calendar ASAP so that I’ll actually get it done, “remember” it, or be able to follow-up with him later. Regardless it’s important to set aside time each day to catch up on what’s going on in your lives, write down what’s said when you do talk and communicate as much as possible through written forms that make it clear exactly what was said.
Surprise your partner. Showing your partner that you love them is one of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy and alive. This is as simple as being the one to join hands when you’re out in public, bringing home a treat for you two to share or offering a massage, bubble bath, putting the kids to bed or other task your partner usually does or asks you to do before they ask.
You don’t have to put tons of time and effort into your relationship, but the more you do the better it will be. Start with these 3 little things this Valentine’s Day.
“Complexity is your enemy. Any fool can make something complicated. It is hard to keep things simple.” Richard Branson