Relationships aren’t easy, and not all of us are in happy relationships, so I thought I’d start today by helping you get out of that relationship you don’t want to be in. Here’s my advice if you don’t want your relationship to succeed: avoid your partner as much as possible, say as many nasty things to them as possible, disagree with them often, do the opposite of what they ask you to do, bad mouth them in front of the kids, say mean things about their friends and family, “forget” what they asked you to do, never bring them presents, never remember special days and dates, ignore them and all their efforts to fix your relationship. Once you’ve done all those things enough times, no worries, you’ll be kicked out faster than you can say your own name.
I know that you entered into your relationship for a reason, regardless how bad you want to be done with it now. I don’t think that divorce is necessary for everyone, but I don’t see much point in continuing the pain and suffering if you and your partner truly aren’t able to work things out. So when it comes to fixing a relationship, or keeping a relationship healthy, there’s one thing that’s necessary to make that happen.
I talk often with my clients about how important date nights/times are for couples in a serious relationship. It’s not because you’ll spend money at local businesses or on the sitter you have to get or the gas you’ll have to put in the car. No, date nights are important to the success and longevity of your relationship.
Simply put a great relationship needs time! If you’re not really committed to each other you won’t make the time for each other. You won’t carve time out of your schedules to meet for lunch, grab a coffee, get a beer, take a walk or talk before bed. And then you’ll be miserable and then your relationship will be over.
If your partner isn’t a priority for you, you won’t make time for them and your relationship. But if you’re truly committed to making the relationship work, carving out time a little time each and every day, and a good chunk of time every week is essential. So what will your choice be this week? Will you finally take the step to get out of the bad relationship or will you and your partner commit to spending time together each week to make your relationship work?