I Love You, A Lot

This month the other topic we’ll be spending a lot of time on, in addition to Black History Month as mentioned on Wednesday, is love.  Yes, the very popular topic for this month is love and we’ll be spending time on Fridays looking at love and families, including some wisdom from some smart young ones.

I know that love is a topic that, especially this month, doesn’t seem like you can escape.  You may hear complaints from your partner of “you don’t really love me because…” during fights and when you don’t live up to the expectations they have for you.  It’s very possible that their expectations are based on premises that are no longer true because you’ve changed or the situation has, and it’s also possible that their expectations of what “love” is and what they expect because of the “love” connection you share isn’t something you can give them, and maybe never could.  I see too many couples who have unrealistic expectations, or never discussed what their actual needs are and how each partner could or couldn’t meet those needs.  This simple communication exercise has been bypassed too many times and as a result there are unhappy couples who expect the unattainable.

Aside from this all too often couples let stuff get in between them and their love.  They let a bad sex life, obligations with the kids or at work or with family, health issues or laziness get in the way of keeping their love alive, and maybe you have too.  Love isn’t something that can only be recognized one day each year on February 14, it’s something that has to be shared, reinforced, built, created, fed, encouraged and said on a regular basis, usually more than daily.  It’s easy to let life and excuses get in the way, but this month we’ll be talking about how we can make love part of our lives and overcome at least one of the obstacles that is putting out your love fire.

“You really shouldn’t say “I love you” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” attributed to an 8-year-old named Jessica

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