Just Checking In

We’ve reached the end of another work week for most people, are you ready for the weekend?  It’s been a crazy week for me, yes, every week is crazy but this one had some extra special things thrown in to deal with.  Yesterday in discussing things with a friend I realized where this week broke down and how even though I was communicating with others it wasn’t enough, something still wasn’t connecting right.

Communication is more than just putting words together, it’s about the meaning, heart, feeling, passion and presence behind them.  For example say you get a text from someone you know.  That text may really excite you if you have been waiting to hear from that person, even if it says something simple like “OK” or “How are you?”  Or let’s say you get the “OK” text from one of your kids, in that case it may feel more like they’re angry and rebelling and trying to get you off their back than anything else.

So rather than just pushing off a quick email or text or trying to get things straight with your partner in the 2 minutes before one or both of you rushes out the door take the time to not only think through what you’re about to say but make sure that your attention is fully on what you’re discussing, and not on the other million things that need your attention throughout the rest of the day or in the near future.  Make the time to be fully present with those you care most about.  When you do it will reduce times in the future that you’ll have to re-discuss and re-communicate about the same issues you’ve already talked through.

Being fully present isn’t just about communications though, it’s about when you’re with people, too.  Like when you’re on your phone while you’re on a date or playing with your kids.  If you’re on the phone you can’t be giving your best attention to the person you’re with and you can’t be playing along with your kids and building your relationship with them if you’re too busy scrolling.

Make time this weekend to truly check in with those you care about, paying attention to their answer and not just moving on to the other things you have to do because checking in with them is a responsibility, when in fact it’s a blessing to have anyone to check in with at all.

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