Every day someone around the world is faced with the news that someone they love has died. For some it’s a person who has had a great impact on their life, even if they never knew them personally. When someone who has made a difference around the world dies there are many people who mourn their loss. When it is someone who only a few knew there are only a few who mourn at the time, although years from now they may be remembered by many more if it is found that they did something during their lifetime to be honored for like some of the artists, chemists, scientists and doctors from many years ago whose research and creations we’re only beginning to understand. But there are those who are just forgotten as time passes, some not even remembered in genealogical resources.
We also mourn losses of pets, animals, places and icons because they have played an important role in our lives, are a memorial to the past or have important cultural references. I don’t believe it’s wrong to mourn their loss, mourning the loss of anything that is part of a memory, has had an impact on our lives or has had value to us is actually healthy. When we don’t take the time to consider loss, to think about how important someone or something was to us we unfortunately end up with lives that don’t have a lot of meaning. Yes, living a simple life with few possessions and moving from place to place can be healthy, but even at those places you have experiences and meet people who place a stamp on your life. I don’t believe that you can get through life without being impacted by something or someone else, and I don’t think you should.
If you’re facing a loss today first and foremost know that you have my sympathies. I’m sorry that you’re going through that pain. As much as we know that pain and loss are part of life it doesn’t make it easier to deal with. Second, after an appropriate period of grief (only you can determine what “appropriate” is, but it most definitely is not staying in grief and pain forever) it will be time to move on. That doesn’t mean that you forget it/them, it means that you choose to think of them with love rather than just in grief and loss. Look for ways that you can share the passion and inspiration that they had in your life with others each day you’re alive. Finally, don’t be afraid to find a new love or inspiration. Don’t feel guilty about moving on, don’t feel ashamed that you’re still alive and want to keep living. Live every moment you can in respect to and in honor of their contribution to the world and your life.