Choosing the Romance

Relationships of all kinds have lots of challenges, and we’re not always given the choice of whether or not we want to be in that relationship, sometimes that’s just how it is.  For example, you don’t choose to have some of the relationships you have at work, they’re a result of where you work or what you do, and you don’t usually choose your family, those are relationships you’re born or adopted into.  But when it comes to romantic relationships they are relationships that we’ve chosen to get involved in, which is one of the reasons why I choose to call them partnerships rather than relationships.  Using the partnership term also is a big reminder of the responsibility of relationships and how we’re both supposed to be contributing to the relationship, not just being part of it because it exists as we do sometimes with our work or family relationship.

We’re almost out of February, the month of love.  I believe that partnerships should be attended to all year-long and are not something you do or don’t do based on the month it is.  You can’t put effort into something for such a brief period of time and expect to see fantastic results, especially with something as complicated as a partnership.  Yet there are countless couples around the world who don’t put in the necessary effort and are surprised when they’re unhappy, thinking about divorce or divorcing yet again.  Yes, there is something to be said for really choosing the right person for you, but the fact is we all change throughout our lives so to expect that you’ll be compatible with someone however many years from now when you will both change is only realistic if you’re both willing to do the work it will take over the years to stay connected to each other and invested in the relationship.

Everyone has several choices within their romantic relationship: first of course is whether or not to stay in it.  The next choice is how you’re going to approach that relationship: are you going to really invest in it or are you going to do the minimum amount necessary just to get by?  Some days you may not feel like you have a ton of choices about that, but there’s always the choice to make.  The final choice is whether or not you’ll intentionally look for things you love about your partner on a daily basis.  I choose to look for the things that I love about my partner, not the things that bother me.  But if things bother me I speak up so that my partner and I can get back to the pursuit of love.  What choices are you making in your relationship?

“For you see, each day I love you more, Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.” Rosemonde Gerard

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