Yesterday on the Life and Faith blog I talked a bit about the topics of love and happiness. Today we’re continuing the conversation here talking about the relationship between love, happiness and relationships. Relationships do not equal love and do not equal happiness. That’s not the equation. I do believe that there can be a connection between relationships, love and happiness, but that’s not the case for everyone and it’s unfortunately not a happily ever after situation for everyone either. You’ve probably heard people who were with someone they loved for only a short period of time for whatever reason say that those were the happiest years of their life, and sometimes the couple gets lucky and they have one of those happy love stories for the ages that their children and grandchildren talk about for years to come. Love, happiness and relationships can last and they can be short, and both types can be real and worth it.
Love, relationships and happiness are all things that can be hurt, can fail and can be disturbed. In a perfect world everyone would have a fairy tail ending, but there are people who aren’t good in this world and believe it’s their right to treat people poorly or do stupid things like drugs and excessive alcohol which end up causing them to make bad decisions. I believe everyone is worthy of love, happiness and a good relationship, but for various reasons that’s not how it always ends up working out.
If you’re in a relationship I’m happy for you and hope that it works out and that you and your partner have one of those great love stories. If it’s not a happy relationship the first person to check is yourself, not your partner. Make sure that you’re not the one causing your own unhappiness, because the only person truly responsible for your happiness is you. If your partner truly loves you and is invested in the relationship they should make you happy most of the time (no one’s perfect), but you should not leave your happiness up to them. So if you establish that you’re not putting unreasonable pressure on your partner in the relationship and are doing your part to make yourself happy and help the relationship thrive, then the next person to check is your partner. Maybe they’re not feeling loved by you, maybe they’ve got a different set of expectations for the relationship, maybe they’re not the right person for you or maybe they’re a bad person and you should not be in a relationship with them. I believe there is more than one person out there for each of us, but with more than 7 billion people in the world it’s not as easy as it sounds to find one of those right ones, and even if you do, maybe it’s only the right person for right now. But no one has to be in a bad relationship or one that doesn’t truly fulfill them.
Happiness, love and relationships aren’t always picture perfect, they can get a little messy sometimes. But if you remember back to being a kid or think about your kids, some of the happiest memories were pretty messy, and even in the movies there’s usually at least one dramatic rescue scene or cringe-worthy episode. Don’t give up on a dream of having a happy, loving and fulfilling relationship, I’ve experienced it and so have others, and so can you.