Personal Remembering

Monday in the USA we celebrated Memorial Day. It’s one of the days each year that we take time to stop and reflect on the men and women who have fought for our country, who still fight for our country and who have lost their lives fighting for our country. It was a pretty cloudy weekend where I live so there was a bit less revelry than I remember from past years, however, I didn’t do any of whatever there might have been because I spent the weekend feeling not so great and doing lots of resting.

But as I was reflecting on Memorial Day and how I spent my weekend, I was reminded that as much as Memorial Day is about being together and honoring the men and women who fought, those memories can also be very personal. Sometimes you don’t want to be with others, even those you love, you need to be alone to take the time to personally reflect and remember. Maybe it’s because your loved ones don’t feel the same way you do about that person or they’re not the sentimental type or they don’t have the need at this point in their life to reflect that you do. It’s not wrong to not take a lot of time to reflect deeply about someone you’ve lost every year, but if you don’t take any time for personal reflection on those you’ve lost and those who have touched your life ever, I think you’re missing out.

I don’t believe we should try to live our lives alone, but I also don’t think every second of our lives needs to be spent with others. There are things that we should do on our own without feedback or intrusion or direction from others. Some things are done both personally and publicly (like mourning), but some of us are willing to write off the need to do the personal side of things because we’ve done the public. Often we make that decision because we don’t want to feel those deep, sometimes painful, emotions that would be brought up if we spent time on our own. But if you want to experience the most life has to offer you need to take the time to get up close and personal with those sometimes uncomfortable feelings and activities.

This week I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on the people who matter and have mattered in your life as well as what you want from your life in the future. We’re almost half way through another year, what will you make of the next 7 months?

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We Remember

Tomorrow in the USA we celebrate Memorial Day.  It’s an important day to remember and thank the men and women who have fought for our country, and their families as well.  As I think about Memorial Day of course there’s a feeling of sadness for all those people we’ve lost over the many years of battle, as well as the family members who never got to know those people.  War isn’t easy, and it shouldn’t be easy, otherwise we might have to deal with more of it which wouldn’t be good.

But with the topic of loss on my mind recently in addition to tomorrow’s talk of the men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice, it has me thinking once again about the loss that the world is experiencing when it comes to the past.  As much as I tend to think (and write) about the future and not about the past, or at least not about the past in the sense of dwelling on it, the past is important.  Every day more and more older folk slip further into Alzheimers and other memory-destroying diseases, every day seniors die, every day people who have great stories but have put off telling them die.  When you die or your memory is gone, your stories die, unless you’ve told them to someone or made some kind of record of them beforehand.

Memorial Day is all about remembering the men and women who have fought for our country, and I hope you take time tomorrow to honor those men and women.  But I can’t help adding in encouragement to also talk with your elderly relatives and friends, and even with the people your own age, and share your stories and hear theirs. Take time to share a story with your kids this weekend from the past about one of your relatives or friends and help them connect with someone they may never know. If you don’t think anyone wants to hear your stories right now you could start a blog and write all of them down for someday in the future, or you could hire someone to come and record you sharing the stories (which would be extra special for the future generations who will never meet you).  Not sure your stories are really worth telling?  I wish I could sit down with my grandparents and hear their stories, but they’ve all been lost to the sands of time in one way or another (3 dead, one with memory loss).  Their stories are special, their lives are special.  The future is built on those stories, and the relationships and events that they share about.  You and I are here because of things that happened many memories ago.

History, and the past, is more than just a random grouping of dates and facts (if that’s all it was, it would be pretty boring).  In reality history is made up of people who lived lives, enjoyed each other’s company, cried and laughed together, learned from their mistakes and had dreams, just like we do today.  Yes, sometimes remembering those we’ve lost can be painful, but the pain is a little less when we remember the good times and the stories they shared with us and memories we made together.   Who will you remember today?

Business Communication Fails

One of the things that makes this world that we live in so amazing is that we can have instant and easy communication with just about anyone anywhere around the world. All it takes is a way for both of us to connect, like an email or social media site or phone or calling platform.  Which means there is no excuse for not communicating.  Each day I wade through multiple emails and other communications that clearly indicate that the person who wrote them didn’t read my earlier reply to them, didn’t check for previous communications between us, didn’t bother to read the information I provided (whether it be a website or document or other communication), or didn’t bother to do a quick 10 second internet search, not to mention the spelling and grammar issues I see often.  And then there are the people/companies who don’t bother to communicate with their buyers, investors or users, they just make changes and expect you to be cool with it.

I understand the need for privacy when you’re working on something new and unique and the right of a company to make whatever changes they see fit to make.  However, not only do I think it’s not right to make those changes without notifying people first (whether it’s a change in price or offering, or app/site downtime), it’s also lazy, rude and irresponsible.  I’m not suggesting that you have to tell people all about the new idea you’re working on or exactly what you’re going to be working on during site downtime for example, but giving people 24 hours advanced notice before a price increase hits your credit card or downtime is happening allows people to prepare and make the necessary decisions.

It takes less than 15 minutes to create and write a very simple email, social post or other notification, probably another 5 to get it reviewed by someone else if necessary and about 2 seconds to send it out.  That’s less than 30 minutes of work to avoid pissing people off, avoid losing (long time) customers and make everyone’s lives run smoother.  Two businesses I work with this week decided not to send out this simple contact and one is losing a good portion of my business as a result.

So the question is: are you avoiding letting people know? Are you scared to let them know what you’re doing? Are you too lazy to keep people informed? Do you not care about your customers that much?  What is holding you back from being a communicating business and are you ready for the potential results?

The Next Generation

Early this week the world was met with the news of an explosion outside a pop singer’s concert in the UK.  Over 80 people were killed or injured, including young adults and children.  No one went to the concert asking to be killed, injured or scared.  They went to have a little fun with family and friends and hear some music.  It’s a tragedy any time someone is killed in such a violent manner, but especially when kids and young adults are killed. They are the future of our world, if we stop having babies or kill all of the young kids, there won’t be a future generation for anyone.

I don’t think violence is the answer, certainly not deadly violence if you’re part of the general population.  If you’ve got a need to be violent or let some steam out or shoot stuff, more peaceful methods like boxing or hunting can be practiced, or consider joining the military (all kinds of good men and women are always in need).  There are better ways to work out your anger or frustration at your life, others or the world in general than blowing things (and people) up.  There are also lots of needs in the world that you can redirect your energy into making a positive difference.

But more than being about the tragedy of another group of people getting killed or how the world is continuing to be bad instead of working on their good, this post is a reminder to live your life, to love your kids, be good to yourself, and enjoy each and every day.  One way would be to support one charity each month that works with that next generation, one that will help them get the education, health, or support they need to grow up to be a great generation.  Another would be to encourage the kids in your life, whether church members, extended family members, neighbors or even your own kids to be who they were born to be, to live their childhood, to enjoy life and to be a person who makes them proud to be themselves.  It’s never too early to start making a difference in the world, what kids are you most proud of?

Having Fun with the Family

This week I’ve been thinking about being yourself, and one of the places we should be able to be ourselves is with our families.  So today I thought we’d take a look at 3 things that should happen as a family.  I realize that not every family situation is ideal, and that you may only have fun with the family you live with and not your extended family, or only with the people you call family but not your blood-family.  This post isn’t about dealing with those types of family complications, instead we’re thinking about this month’s theme: fun!

Family should have fun together.  Family should be a place where we can laugh, joke, play, and generally enjoy life. Family should be there for each other through thick and thin, but more than anything family should come together to make great memories.  My family wasn’t really the annual-summer-BBQ-everyone-comes-over type, but the few times I did see extended family over the years were special times.  Of course now we’re able to connect virtually in many ways that weren’t available years ago, but those in person get togethers are something special that can’t be replicated online.  After all, no one makes that special favorite food dish like that one family member, or has the best stories like that one family member, or always brings special gifts like that other family member.

Family should be able to be silly together.  You’ve seen those videos where the mom or dad is making faces at the baby and talking in a really funny voice and you think that would never be you, only when you have your kids you’re doing the exact same thing with very little or no shame?  That’s what family should be!  We should be able to be silly and goofy, and yes there will be laughter, but you’ll all be laughing together, not at each other.

Family should be the place you’re safe to be yourself.  When you share news with family yes, they may have a surprise reaction initially, but when it comes down to it, they should support you with whatever decisions you make in your life and whomever you are (unless of course you’re planning to hurt yourself, then they should guide you into getting help). But there shouldn’t be any judgment if you want purple hair or a tattoo or work a farm for a job or or like techno music or adopt a child even if you’re not married or with a partner.

As we gear up for Memorial Day weekend here in the US and the start of summer, I encourage you to make time for fun in your family, especially if you’ve been working through heartache recently.  What fun do you have with your family?

Changes, Choices and Closed Businesses

When you start a business you don’t always think about what comes next and when/how you want to finish with it.  Sure you may imagine creating a great product/company and selling it for tons of money to some big company, but that’s not the reality (or plan) for most business owners.   For most (especially small business owners), they’re more focused on what’s going on today and their current customers (or getting customers for that matter), maybe even what’s coming up in the next year or so, than what could happen however many years down the road.  But the reality is that that decision does need to be made at some point in time.

This week in the US we see the end of Ringling Brothers’ circus, and I saw an article saying that the number of businesses that were sold in the first quarter was higher than it’s been.  I’ve also seen a number of ‘store closing’ signs at what used to be popular retailers.  Times change, people change, needs change, technology (the broadest definition of the word) changes, you (the business owner) change.  Yes, it’s tough to acknowledge the change, and difficult to let go of something that’s been part of your life for however long.  It’s tough to part with the people who have invested time, ideas and sweat into the business and customers.  It can also be scary to look at what’s coming next when you no longer have the business to work on each day.

Sometimes it’s OK or necessary to come to an end in business, sometimes it’s just time for us to move on to something else.  There’s no shame in that.  There’s also nothing wrong with passing the business off (or selling it) to someone who can take it to a level that you can’t for whatever reason.  However, many of the businesses that close each month close for reasons that didn’t have to be reality.  These businesses are run by people who are greedy, or aren’t willing to look at the truth, or aren’t willing to make changes, or aren’t willing to try things, or don’t treat their people right, or aren’t willing to even try to keep up with their competitors and the larger marketplace.

This week I encourage you to take a look at your business and check if you’ve been holding things back or hurting your businesses potential. If that’s the case i encourage you to make the choice to make changes, and get started on at least one of those changes this week.

Expectations of Something More

Do you get up every day with a list of expectations for yourself, the people in your life and the world around you? Lately I’ve been taking time to consider my expectations of the world and think about what they might be and what I really want out of my life.  Part of it has to do with the passing of a family friend, part of it has to do with the hate I’ve been seeing some people share, and part of it has to do with wanting more out of life because life’s really not worth wasting.

This month one of the things we’re talking about is the topic of fun and I think fun has an important role to play in making sure we make the most of our lives.  It can be both a motivator of encouraging us to get the work done so we’ve got the resources to have fun as well as one to make the time to have that fun and take time off as well.  We do have an expectation of making sure we care for our families, and I think it’s an important one to uphold.  There are people around the world who don’t make decisions in light of how it will affect the people who matter the most to them.  But in the same conversation we do have a responsibility to be part of our loved ones lives, and not at work all the time trying to provide for them.

So what’s a person to do? If you’re at work working tons of hours because you’re not making enough per hour/day to support your family, it’s time to upgrade and update your skill set.  If you’re at work all day because you work on a fantastic cause, it’s time to get some new people involved.  If you’re at work all the time because you don’t want to be with your family, it’s time for a serious evaluation of and conversation about your life.  If you’re spending all your time on fun and avoiding the work there must be a reason why.  Maybe it’s because you really don’t enjoy your work, or maybe simply because reality hasn’t smacked you yet.   Whatever the case is I encourage you to take a look at your expectations for your life present and future and see if where you’re at and how your days currently go line up with that expectation.

Fun for Moms

This month one of the things we’re talking about is having fun, and of course today in the US we’ve got Mother’s Day. Some of us don’t think about Moms being fun, they just try to ruin our fun, right?! And if you’re a mom you may be having difficulty trying to remember the last time you had fun, or the last time you had some adult fun.  Whenever a kid is brought into the world it’s someone’s responsibility to care for them, whether it’s their biological mom and/or dad or a family member or an adopted family.  You know I’m a supporter of having a village raise a child and not just depending on the human or humans who brought that child into the world.  One of the reasons is that it’s more fun for the child when they get to interact with other children of the “village,” but it also gives the parents a chance to be parents and have adult friends and get a time-out from being a parent on occasion.

If you’re a mom and it’s been a long time since you’ve had fun I want to encourage you to start making that a part of your life.  Maybe that means drinks (coffee/tea or alcohol) with the girls once a month.  Maybe that means reinstating the weekly date with your partner.  Maybe that means hiring a sitter to give you a couple of hours off each week so you can shower alone, shave your legs or do food shopping without “helpful” second opinions.  Maybe it means watching another family’s kids for a few hours and they watching yours on another day so even more moms get a few hours off.  Maybe it means being more creative and getting the kids involved in your preferred hobbies and interests like gardening, painting, garage sale shopping or car repair.

If you’re feeling guilty for wanting a little fun, let’s get some perspective.  First, everyone needs to have fun and take a break from the challenges, disappointments, hurts and frustrations that come through our lives.  Second, if all your kids see you doing is stressing out and being unhappy, what do you think they’ll think about life?  I wouldn’t want to grow up if all it meant was that I’d be miserable and unhappy.  Yes, you need to teach them responsibility and how to care for themselves, but I believe that part of that is learning proper stress relief and that it’s OK to have fun as part of your life all life-long.  What fun will you have this week?

Change And Stay the Same?

Over the past decade or so there have been many changes in the business world (‘business’ meaning both for- and non-profits).  Some businesses have embraced the changes, some have been reluctant but have eventually tried out some of them and other businesses have firmly resisted any change efforts. In some of those change-resistant businesses and business industries/niches there have been some innovators who have started new businesses that are taking advantage of the changes, which is causing some disruption in the industry/niche.  Last week there was an event and this past week I was talking with an individual about their new business that really got me thinking about the changes so today I want to talk a bit about both sides of this conversation.

The event is one that’s been around for 40+ years which says something pretty important given how few businesses, let alone events, last that long these days. The event is a live event and is in an industry that has overall been more resistant to or slow to do many of the changes, including tapping into the internet world.  Given that at the core of the event is the fact that it’s a live event, while you wouldn’t want to change that, there is a lot more the event can be doing year ’round to better market the event and keep people connected in between events.

The individual I was talking with is starting a new business in a different industry that has been resistant to change as well.  I rarely talk with people who are on his end of things, typically I hear from businesses who are behind the curve and trying to catch up, or talking with companies who are selling innovative products.  Starting a business brings its own challenges, but starting a business that intends to turn an industry on its head is an even bigger challenge, and I encouraged the individual to stay the course.

So where does that bring us?  It says that there are tons of businesses who have yet to really reach their customers in 2017 as they’re wanting to be reached.  But, I also believe that adopting some changes don’t mean that you have to totally change what you’re offering or who you are at the core.  To give an example: I saw a recent headline questioning if restaurants were the next industry to suffer and become a more virtual experience with all meals being delivered to your home and not going out to eat, and I had to laugh.  Yes, that has some appeal, but a large portion of the success of restaurants is people wanting to get out of their homes and have a meal experience with family or friends, they don’t want to be home, they want to go out.  Food delivery may increase but I don’t think restaurants will ever fully go out of business, especially those that offer a fantastic dine in experience.  However, just because your core offering (eating in a restaurant in this case) shouldn’t change, that doesn’t you can’t change a few of the items you offer on the menu or how you cook them to meet some of the more current desires or practices, expand how you market to your customers or offer more options to pay than just cash.

The world is changing and I don’t think it’s changing back any time soon.  Too many businesses that used to be and still should be essential businesses are being called “dated” or at least not contemporary because they’re afraid to spend the money on upgrades or updates or are stuck at “it’s how we’ve always done things,” yet complain when they can’t get the customers in the door (literal or figurative) or customers complain about what’s offered.  There’s a simple answer to this, but it’s not necessarily one they (or you) want to hear.  Is it a message you need to hear today?

Processes and Procrastination

As we head towards the end of another week you may be thinking about what you can toss onto the piles on your desk or mark so that you deal with it next week and not today or tomorrow.  I’m familiar with the process, everyone does it to some extent. And to some extent it’s necessary to do because there are only so many hours in a day and while you may have something sudden and time-sensitive come up today, you may not have that tomorrow and be able to deal with things from today tomorrow.  The danger comes in when you never get to “tomorrow” and you keep having to put out fires and deal with emergencies today and never get to that other stuff you keep putting off.

The good news is that a portion of what you keep putting off can be handled by someone else.  You can get someone else to file the papers or place/pack orders or refill supplies or input data to a spreadsheet or program or app.  The bad news is, as you probably guessed, they can only do so much as they are not you. All that help is great to a point, then you have to step back in and choose or approve purchases, reply to clients, or confirm the data.

But what it comes back to is that you need to stop and realize that there’s a problem and you’re tired of seeing the problem day after day and not being able to do what you want to with or about it.  Maybe it’s as simple as changing the software, program or procedure that you do things with/through.  Maybe it’s creating a schedule and following it 95% of the time.  Maybe it’s just hiring someone to help out a few hours a week (on either the personal or the professional side).  But I believe that for many of the things that we’re putting off, there’s a simple solution that can make it much easier and much less painful to do the job and get it done quicker and with the results you’re looking for (or at the very least results which is something you didn’t have before).

If you’re struggling with the never ending search for tomorrow in your work or home, I encourage you to take an important first step before the end of the week.  Maybe it’s reaching out to an organizer or coach like myself who is local to you and getting the conversation going.  Maybe it’s taking 30 minutes to investigate other program/procedure options.   Maybe it’s sitting down with your team and talking about who’s doing what and who would rather do what and who can help you clear things off your plate (making things easier for everyone).   What will you do?