A Reflection on Grandparents

Tomorrow in the US is grandparent’s day. Some of us were fortunate enough to have grown up with several grandparents or at least one grandparent in our lives, but some of us have never known our grandparents personally, maybe only heard some stories from our parents about them. I’m thankful for all of the experiences I had with my 3 grandparents who were alive when I was young and memories I have of them and even for the opportunity my parents had to share their kids with their parents. Of course, my experiences were all positive because I had great grandparents, at least until the later years of their lives when they were ill with Alzheimers and other issues which are painful experiences I hope you and they never have to deal with, but I know it’s not the case that every person has a great experience or memory of their grandparents.

Yes, grandparents grew up in a different time, one that can seem very far removed from what kids today experience, and it’s unlikely that they are hip to all the things that kids are into these days, but the love they can share, interpersonal and other valuable lessons they can teach, and even the insight they have into the world today make them invaluable and a great resource and point of stability for ourselves and the next generation. I always enjoyed talking with my grandparents about their lives as children and hearing their perspectives about the world today, but what really stuck with me were the things that made them special like their love of plants, the beach, their bravery in war and the fire department, cookie baking and other homemade recipes.

I encourage families spending time with all generations together, and for the grandkids to spend time alone with grandparents. Each generation has something important to teach the others, not to mention great stories that today’s youngsters can’t identify with or experience, and as more seniors are losing the battle to Alzheimers and senility we’re losing those stories and the people who played a role in how we came to be here. Whether you drop the kids off for a few hours or few days each year with the grandparents, you plan regular family vacations near where they live so they can be part of those vacations, or you have a weekly commitment to a phone or video call, or all of the above, I believe it’s important to make the time to get the family together.

What are your memories and lessons from your grandparents?

When A Business Steps Up

Sometimes smart business means stepping up where others aren’t. It’s getting harder to differentiate yourself, especially with the internet really leveling the playing field, because anyone can create a social account, website, blog or email address and start connecting with others. That said it’s more important than ever to do your best to differentiate yourself, clearly state what that difference is, and provide not just awesome customer service, but have a really great culture that supports your team as well. Today I want to share two examples of how a business or organization communicated or stepped up in a way that others don’t or haven’t.

There’s been a ton of talk recently regarding Hurricane Dorian, and already there has been significant damage report in at least one location impacted by the storm. This past week there was an early statement from an airport in Florida that they were planning to close the airport at a certain time giving consideration to the thousands of workers at the airport and their needs to see to their families and homes. As the unpredictable storm has changed they’ve made changes to their plan, but that initial statement stuck with me because you don’t always hear a company phrase it that way. Typically businesses talk about the danger and leave it at that or maybe comment about it being dangerous to travelers, but rarely do you hear a company talk about the importance of closing so that their team (large or small) can do what they need to do.

The other big news story is the CNN hosted town hall with 10 of the 2020 presidential candidates, and MSNBC will be hosting one later this month too. Thousands of people around the US had petitioned and requested that a climate question be added to the next debate or that a separate debate be held, and all requests were denied or ignored. So CNN and MSNBC took it upon themselves to invite these 10 candidates to share their thoughts on climate and what politically/governmentally needs to be done or how the government can step up.  If they both hadn’t stepped up and done the research to find a loophole in the rules that others had missed or ignored, they miss out on a great opportunity for publicity and public good will.

A good business leader is aware of potential issues that impact not just their ability to have sales but to care for the people who make those sales possible and so successful.  Good business leaders also don’t ignore the requests and feedback of thousands of people, all very publicly stated.  Focus on how you can increase your positive publicity, how you can do better for the people you connect with, and how you can step up when there is a need.

Failures and Regrets

Regrets: we all have them in life. Maybe they’re from something we did, or maybe they’re from something we didn’t do. Regret can be defined as “to feel sorrow or remorse for, to think of with a sense of loss, dissatisfaction, disappointment.” I do plenty of rethinking a situation or conversation and about what I could/should have done and mentally rework situations, so I tend towards the dissatisfaction aspect of regrets rather than the sorrow or loss aspects. But maybe you’re someone who thinks more along the lines of what could have been or feels frustration with what was. Maybe you’re not someone who deals in regret as much but rather gets stuck in failure.

Failure and regret are cousins in a sense, because both can create a sense of loss. Both also come with the lesson of the importance of what you do or choose next. If we’re so stuck in failure and/or regret we’ll miss out on the opportunity to do better or start to fix our mistakes in the next situation. No, you can’t turn the clock back to bring someone, including yourself, back to life, but you can choose going forward to be better about saying what you mean and meaning what you say and investing in the lives of the people who mean the most to you, or doing something differently so you don’t end up with the same result.

Lately I’ve been hearing quite a few people reference Thomas Edison and how he said “I haven’t failed — I’ve just found 10,000 that won’t work.” Stopping at failure means that you’re not going to try again, that you don’t have hope that you can do better or solve the problem. Occasionally this is a good choice, because you recognize that you’ve reached the end of your capabilities at this time and aren’t going to keep pushing senselessly. You recognize that it’s time to pass the responsibility or opportunity on to someone else.

You can’t pass regrets off on someone else, but others can learn from your regrets. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard people comment about deathbed statements and how there’s some regret included there about what they didn’t do or who they were. Sometimes there’s no way to avoid the regret because a terminal illness has taken the choice away from them, but in many cases it’s people who lived their long life a certain way and now looking back are wishing they had done something different.

So if you’re dealing with a regret today I would encourage you to take time to consider it. Feel the emotions wrapped up in it and decide if the experience will change how you do things or who you are going forward. If you’re dealing with a failure, don’t spend too long looking at the failure as a failure, instead let it help guide you to making decisions about how or if you’re moving forward, or what you can learn from what didn’t work or go right.