The Support of Sleep

Something most of us don’t talk about but is vitally important to being healthy mentally, physically and relationally healthy is sleep. This past week in NJ we had an unseasonably warm couple of days and after those couple of days I was talking with friends and we were all discussing how exhausted we were after the warm spell. Winter/rainy seasons can be really annoying and frustrating because you can’t do as much, but I think they’re also really important for giving our bodies time to recover from all the activity during the other times of the year.

Sleep is something you need whether you’re 3 or 93, it’s not something you can really skip. Yes, some of us do skip it or postpone because of work or commitments, and sometimes for periods of time we can exist with limited amounts of sleep, but if you really want to be healthy mentally and physically sleep should be an important and regular part of your routine. Without sufficient sleep kids don’t do as well at school, there are more disagreements between partners, you’re not as focused at work (regardless of how much coffee you drink), your body actually breaks down and you’re more irritable.

Yes, everyone needs different amounts of sleep but what’s universally agreed upon is that everyone needs sleep, you simply can’t live without it. There’s something that’s so important and rejuvenating about rest in general and about sleep. Being active is important but so is taking the time to recover and have down time. Have you taken time to rest with your partner and your family or are you always on the go? There’s nothing wrong with not having a fully scheduled and booked week or weekend, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to rest.  Do you guard your rest time as strongly as you do some other aspects of your life or is it more of an afterthought? If it’s more of an afterthought I encourage you to make sleep a regular part of your life for the next month and see what a difference it makes in your life.


Time for Transition?

This week I’ve been seeing some limos on the roads and talked with a friend who was looking into limos for her daughter’s prom and it got me thinking about the taxi/limo/Uber/Lyft etc. debate. I do support public transportaion, I think it’s great if we can travel in a way that looks out for the world that we all share. I do personally own a car and like driving. I have taken people to the airport or train station, but really appreciate when they find a ride back from there. I definitly think there are some benefits to having someone else do the driving, especially when you’re not familiar with the area. We’ve talked about the people side of this topic, let’s talk about the business side. Do all of these vehicle businesses provide a service? Yes. Historically is this a financially successful industry? Yes. Has there been competition ever since the wheel was developed and people started giving/getting rides to/from each other? Yes. OK, so we’ve established that this is not only a business category, but really an industry that has been around for quite some time.

Let’s talk about the debate. Yes, I can see the frustration from the side of the taxi/limo businesses because now the competition has greatly increased and they’ve lost a good portion of the control over the employees and the services that are provided. However, and here’s the reason that I don’t really side with the taxi/limo businesses in this discussion, there really hasn’t been anything different done in the industry. The premise is still exactly the same: people are contacting car/van drivers for rides to and from places. The two things that have really changed is that people can now order a ride through an app on their phone and there are a lot more drivers available.

If we look at it from an overall business perspective I would say that the industry as a whole is better off financially and there are more people than ever requesting rides. What the taxi/limo businesses really have to be mad about is the fact that they refused to advance like the world was asking them to and needed them to, and now they’re trying to catch up. I don’t know if they ever will but it’s a good warning to the rest of the industries (and businesses) that haven’t caught up with the advances of technology or the networking that’s available or the way people want more freedom and flexibility in their lives. If you’ve been avoiding some changes or next steps in your business, I encourage you to review those changes or steps over the last few days of this month and be ready to start March strong.

Secrets to Success: Passion and Drive

In thinking about President’s Day which is today in the US, I was reminded of exactly how much work is involved in becoming president and then in being president. It’s not something that you wake up and say that tomorrow you’ll be president, this is something that takes years of preparation, if for no other reason than you have to be at least 35 before you could be elected. But whether they’ve spent years working the political side of things or they’ve just started, presidents always have some type of leadership and success background. They’re not average Joes who come to Washington DC directly from a cornfield or wharf, they’re educated men who have life and leadership experience. And one of the reasons that some of them are more memorable and remembered favorably than others, is because of their passion for life and the job.

While most of us will never experience the stress and power of being president, success is something that we can all achieve. The past few weeks we’ve talked about different aspects of what can lead to success, and today I wanted to talk about one that anyone with any level of experience can bring to the table: passion and drive. Some people are successful not because of how many degrees they’ve earned at school or how well networked they are, but simply because of how passionate they are about what they’re working on and the unending drive they have to achieve that success.

Why is passion one of the keys to success? Because when others see how passionate and excited you are about the journey, they become excited too and want to be part of the journey and help you get there. But even if you’re not truly working with a team to achieve your success, your passion and drive can speak volumes to the people in your life who support you emotionally and verbally, like your partner and extended family. So often business owners and entrepreneurs speak of their early days and how they didn’t feel they really had the support of the people in their lives while they worked to get things rolling, and what a difference it made when they finally had that emotional support.

Whether you’re a business owner or entrepreneur or a stay-at-home parent if you want to see some immediate victories in your success journey, focus back on the passion that got you going in this direction in the first place. Bring that passion to life and refocus on your drive for success and you’ll have even more victories to celebrate.  What are you passionate about in your life or work?

Love is Considerate

This month as we’ve talked and thought about love I was reflecting on what is really one of the central aspects to love and relationships, both romantic and other types: other people. I know it sounds really obvious and yes, it’s important to love yourself, but for a relationship, romantic or otherwise, to really be successful you have to love the other person. Maybe that love is the passionate-fairy-tale-love kind, maybe that love is more of a respectful love, maybe it’s more of a compassionate love, or maybe it’s a mutual love of a sports team or hobby that makes you love another person. There’s a lot more to love than just saying “I love you” or wanting someone else in your life so you’re not alone.

Relationships are about more than just us and what we want or get out of them, there’s a whole ‘nother person to consider, and without that other person there would be no relationship. So where do you stand on your relationships including your relationship with your significant other, your family members, your work colleagues and your friends? Do you really take time to consider them and their needs, capabilities and needs as part of your relationship with them?

I think one of the biggest secrets to showing love to others is just being considerate. There’s nothing fancy or complicated really about it, it’s just you taking the time to open your eyes, mind, and heart to the other person. Sometimes that consideration means being extra patient with them, sometimes it’s about showing them in dramatic form how much you care, sometimes it’s just a touch on the shoulder or text message to let them know you’re there and you support them, and sometimes it’s connecting them to a great opportunity or resource that you hear about.

Have you taken the time to dive into love this month and explore the relationships that are important in your life? Which relationships have you realized need work and which are you most committed to exploring and strengthening?

Presidential Leadership

In thinking about President’s Day on Monday here in the US, I got to thinking about what it takes to be a great president, and if we business owners can learn anything from them. But then I turned the question around and asked myself what advice the presidents would give us as leaders.

“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.” George Washington

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams

“Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.” Andrew Jackson

“We must dare to be great; and we must realize that greatness is the fruit of toil and sacrifice and high courage.” Teddy Roosevelt

“Don’t write so that you can be understood, write so that you can’t be misunderstood.” William Taft

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb … Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” Calvin Coolidge

Franklin D. Roosevelt “…knew what people wanted from the highest office in the land: action, words and optimism.”

Truman’s motto was “A leader needed a true heart, a strong mind, and a great deal of courage.”

“If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit.” Bill Clinton

All presidents left a legacy of one kind or another. All presidents had successes and failures. All presidents had good days and bad days. All presidents left office after they were done and continued on with their lives. The choice we all have is to do the best we can with what we’re given for as long as we’re there, and when life hands us a new direction to then do the best we can on that path. What are you learning from your business and being a leader right now?

Secrets to Success: Time for Teamwork

Something I’ve been thinking about as we approach Valentine’s Day as well as in my work with businesses and individual clients, is the importance of having a team behind and around you. We’ve been taking a look at some keys to success over the past few weeks and I think that the idea of having a team around you is something we sometimes take for granted. We take for granted that we can get a plumber out within 24 hours or sooner when we’ve got a leak, we take for granted that someone designed the refrigerator that we use to keep food cool and fresh, we take for granted that someone’s always behind the scenes taking all the calls that come in to the police stations around the country (and the world), we take for granted that someone’s making sure the technology is functioning so that we can get to our favorite websites and search engines at a moment’s notice.

But we also sometimes take for granted the people who are a lot closer to us. We just expect our employees to show up each day, we expect that our kids will go to school most days, and we expect that our partner will do the things around the house that they always do. When someone gets sick or something happens it becomes very apparent exactly how strong and capable your team and support system is.

One of the greatest challenges and opportunities for businesses and communities is to support the people who rely on them, the people who are part of them. The online reviews tell the stories of the good, bad and ugly experiences we have with businesses and their employees. The relationships we choose to keep and people we regularly interact with say a lot about those people and the type of person they are. Rather than trying to be everything for everyone, why not turn to those people that are around you literally, or are accessible through the gift of the internet? Why put yourself through the stress and pressure of trying to be everything and do everything?

We’re not alone in this life and it’s time that we stop living that way. It’s not dependency or a revelation of weakness to admit that you need help and other people around you. It actually makes you smarter and more likely to succeed when you have a team of people you can rely on around you. Today make sure to recognize the people who help you get through your day, and if you look around and realize you don’t have that team and network, start reaching out. Who makes your life better because they’re in it?

3 T’s to a Healthy Relationship

Valentine’s Day is less than a week away. As I flip through TV channels, see the commercials on my computer and see the latest books and movies being published I’m constantly amazed by how many versions of love there are. My relationship with my partner doesn’t look like the relationships other people have with their partner. Some people love more than one person, some people never connect wiht the one person they could live with loving, some people love across great distances and some people call it love when it’s the furthest thing from real love. However there are a couple things that I think contribute to the success of a relationship, regardless of what your version of love looks like (with the exception of not real love).

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know that I’m a big supporter of communication, but that’s not one we’re going to talk about today, instead I wanted to talk about three other keys: touch, time and teamwork.

Teamwork: If you’re really committed to the relationship there has to be give and take, time and energy given by both of you towards the health of the relationship and to taking care of all the things that need to be done to run your lives and household. No relationship survives on the efforts of only one person, at least not for very long.  That means both of you should be working on the home, relationship and seeing to your kids’ needs if you have kids.

Time: If it’s a healthy relationship the people in the relationship need to make time for each other. Whenever possible that should consist of in-person time on a daily and weekly basis, and should also include digital communications too. The time that it takes to send even a simple text could mean all the difference to the health of your relationship.  But it’s also important to make a time commitment in other ways such as date nights, time at home together or video chats if distance prohibits in-person interaction.

Touch: While the other two keys we’ve talked about today can be done to some extent even if one partner isn’t physically there, this one does require you and your partner to be in the same place.  People thrive on touch.  While you don’t need touch to survive like you do food and water, if you really want to be your healthiest and happiest, and you want the relationship to be healthiest and happiest, there should be touch involved, whether it’s holding hands, snuggling and/or more intimate options.

How healthy is your relationship with regard to teamwork, time and touch?  Are they regularly incorporated so that both of you are supported in the relationship and your lives, or are they something you should make a new commitment to this Valentine’s Day?

Watch Your Words

On Sunday many in the US watched the biggest football game of the year, one that decided who was the ultimate winner in this season, and today the winter sporting event that the whole world participates in begins in PyeongChang. Both of these events are big opportunities for brands and for sales, approximately a quarter of people who watch the game watch for the commercials, and you can’t miss the advertising everywhere else from both the teams and the brands regarding the game. But in response to an article I read recently I wanted to talk about something I don’t talk about a lot, and something that many people don’t want to think about: the legal side of things.

You may or may not know that there are rules in place as far as what brands who aren’t official sponsors can and can’t say about these events, based on the official rules or trademarks that the organizations have on names and graphics. Average people can say whatever they want, but anytime a business starts talking about something related to the event they have to be very careful with what they say (you’ll notice that I didn’t include the specific names of the 2 events in question in the beginning of this post). While the official committees don’t hunt down every single offender, the consequences of using their names and graphics certainly are enough to make you think twice before you do any types of event promotions or talk about them.

I can understand the position of the sponsors who don’t want others getting the publicity they’re paying for, for free. I can also understand the events/organizations not wanting what they’ve worked really hard to create, and spent a lot of money on, being taken advantage of. But I also understand how frustrating it is for businesses who can’t afford sponsorship or don’t get approved for sponsorship, or may not even be aware that they’re not allowed to say/do certain things (it would certainly make things a whole lot easier for everyone if you could just come out and say stuff).

So what’s the lesson here? First, if you hear big companies not calling things by their given name, there’s probably a good reason for it. Second, you wouldn’t like it if someone stole your best material or tried to steal your thunder without first getting your approval to use or reference it. Third, if you’re going to restrict what others can say or do, make sure you give them a list of do’s and don’t’s and you can even be helpful and let them know say or do instead of what the general public can do/say. Fourth, maybe this is the reminder you need to take a look at the legal side of your business and make sure everything is protected the way it should be. Finally, after you’ve taken a moment to complain about it, embrace the opportunity to get creative in your promotions and communications regarding the fun competition happening in PyeongChang.

How will you creatively celebrate all things winter sports in your business?

Secrets to Success: Schedule It

Today we’re continuing our look at little secrets to success with one of the things many find to be challenging: scheduling. The issue though isn’t really that we don’t like scheduling necessarily, but more often that our nice, neat schedules get messed up, adjusted, moved around and pre-empted. So it makes it understandably frustrating when we try to make schedules because they just don’t work out. Even though I have those same issues I still believe that having a schedule can be one thing that will help you be successful.

One of the things I think is noteworthy about schedules is that they reveal a lot about our priorities. If your schedule always has fitness and if something comes up during your regular time you don’t just skip it but move it to another space in your day, that says to me that fitness is very important to you. If your schedule includes a date night with your partner every week, that says to me that your relationship is something very important to you. If you consistently get up at a certain time every day so you can have a couple of minutes to look over the day ahead and have a cup of coffee so you’re somewhat sane by the time the kids are up, it tells me you’re a focused and organized person.

The lack of a schedule also reveals a lot about you as well. It’s not “wrong” to not have a schedule and to let the day take you as it will, but I think even those of us who consider ourselves free spirits probably do have some type of schedule, even if it’s just a list of things that we do at some point in time every day, or something like moving through the natural process of breakfast and getting ready for the day then work then lunch then work then dinner then bed, with some activities and engagements in between. You may be a very productive person with this type of free schedule, but today we’re kind of going on the assumption that you’re not as successful as you would like to be, and that having a schedule would help you be more successful.

So why should we use schedules? A schedule allows you to predictably and more consistently have the time you need to do things. It means you’re intentionally setting aside the time to do things that you think will bring you to success or bring you happiness or add value to your life.  Schedules also give you the opportunity to plan things out and make sure that you’ve got the time and resources in place for what you want to accomplish.

Not sure you’re ready to go full-blown scheduled life? Then start with writing a to-do list of everything you need to do over the next few days or weeks and setting up a chunk of time each day to work on that to do list. This will give you a way to get used to having a schedule in your life and see results very quickly because each day you’ll be crossign things off your list.

As far as how to schedule, you can of course use an app program on your phone or just the calendar app, write on a white board each day (and/or for the week), or have a paper planner or calendar that you use, or use a mix of all of them.

Do you use a schedule and what are the benefits you find in having one?

Impact Big and Small

As I was thinking about the big football game happening in a few hours I was reminded of the topic of impact. In hearing the different plans that people have depending on the results of the game and about the history of the teams for winning seasons, it got me thinking about how many people’s futures are going to be impacted by the events of a few hours. No, it’s not life and death like cancer and it’s not as impactful as something like an election, but it’s still a really big deal to many people, and people are willing to put their health on the line for the victory today.

For some the events of today in the world of football mean very little or nothing to them. They don’t watch, they don’t care, they may not even know which teams are playing. And that’s OK, because what we’re talking about today isn’t really about football. It’s about the impact that each of us have on each other. Yes, today’s game will have a big impact because it impacts many people. What you choose for dinner tonight may not have a big impact on many people, but it will have an impact on you, and maybe a few of the people who live with you. How you talk to your kids will have an impact on them, how you show your partner you do/don’t love them will impact them, the way you treat yourself will have an impact on your self esteem, your self image and your confidence.

The thing is it’s these little things that add up to make a big impact. If you put one quarter in a jar every day for the next year you’ll have $36.53 which might be enough to take your significant other out for dinner. Divorces rarely are the result of one event or thing but days, months and even years of issues and buildup. People are rarely born bad, they turn that way after years of negative influences and anger directed their way. I doubt that any of the parents who have kids playing in the football game today knew the day they were born that they would end up playing today.

You can’t predict the future, but you can do your best to make choices that will give you the best big and little impacts possible. What impact will you choose to have?