Considerate and Conscientious Choices

I was rewatching one of my favorite CSI episodes the other day and a scene in the show got me thinking again about what we really need to be teaching the next generation, and quite frankly what skills we as adults need to be more conscientiously applying as appropriate in our lives and careers. And recent conversations I had with different people just reinforced how important these skills are for many reasons, both personal and professional.

Let’s start with one of the ones I talk about frequently: communication. This time the communication skill has to do with the words that are chosen, not the fact that everyone needs to communicate more often. For example there’s a big difference between “I hate you” and “I’m really struggling with my feelings right now” or “let’s discuss this” vs “I’m going to tell you what to do” or “you have no privileges because of your actions” vs “your mom/dad and I are going to talk about this and decide if a punishment is appropriate.” Be careful and considerate of the words you choose, because there can be a huge spectrum between words that are in the same category or have similar meaning, and going too far or not far enough on the spectrum can cause everyone unnecessary stress or confusion.

Next, you can almost always be more patient. While sometimes we do give people too many chances to fix things or wait too long for people to get back to us or do the right thing, the truth is that usually we could give someone another minute or two to really hear their story, ask them clarifying questions to make sure we’re all on the same page, or even just not make them feel like they have 10 seconds to share something with us before we’re off to the next thing. I know that each minute is precious and that we don’t want to waste time, but is it really wasting time if in being more patient with other people your life is richer and brings more smiles to your face and theirs?

The last one for today has to do with heart. When was the last time you did something that warmed not only your heart but the heart of someone else? Like leaving them a handwritten note on their desk or bed or lunchbox, sharing a song with them that made you think of them, remembering their favorite treats and bringing them those treats, making time to make sweet memories with them, or using heart-felt words to show them you noticed something they did or just how much you appreciate them for being who they are. These little things can make such a huge difference in improving someone’s day, giving them hope and making anyone feel special and seen.

It’s always important to back our words up with actions, but sometimes charging forward isn’t the right move. Sometimes the more thoughtful, attentive, considerate approach is not only the way to healthier relationships and more success, but more peace, more respect and more teamwork within and between people and communities. What soft skills like these have you been working on with your kids or yourself lately?

Building Businesses with Trust

This month I read The 10 Laws of Trust by Joel Peterson with David A. Kaplan. It was a short and easy read, that adds not only to leadership knowledge, but also teaches a lot about what trust is and what it looks like both in organizations as well as in people in general. Let’s take a look at a couple of insights from the book.

We may not use the word trust a lot, but it’s part of every relationship we have, from trusting signed checks and swiped card payments won’t bounce to trusting that someone walking into a store won’t steal anything to trusting that friends and family will keep your secrets or that sick people will choose to stay home (or at the very least cover their nose and mouth when they sneeze and wash up after). So how do we determine trust even if we’re not totally conscious of making decisions whether or not to trust someone or something? This book talks about trust being determined largely by character, competence and authority.

Why is trust important in business and how is it often shown if an organization is a high-trust one? The organizations which are more high-trust are usually the ones with the more empowered employees. These people on all levels are known for having more respect for each other, being more willing to listen without agenda, having more personal integrity, agreeing with the values of the organization, and willingly choosing to contribute to the mission of the organization. Also, accountability is present, but not in a creepy or frustrating over-managed way, just such that everyone is held responsible for their work and actions.

Finally, the presence of trust in an organization says a lot about the leadership. This book shared another interesting perspective on leadership, that it’s a leader’s job to empower their people (followers, customers or whomever) to reach the things they want to achieve. One side of leadership is that followers help leaders achieve their big awesome goals and visions that help transform the world, so a big part of leadership is getting people to follow you and believe in what you’re working on. And honestly not everyone has their own big plans that need lots of people to get on board to make it happen, so it’s not wrong for leaders to need followers to help them. But, every follower is their own person with their own dreams and interests, and when leaders take the time to care about their people and empower them, they give their people the opportunity to become their best, which often results in even bigger returns for the organization.

While it may not be possible to avoid having your trust broken or betrayed, it’s always more likely that you’ll be rewarded for having trust than hurt for it. How has trust benefitted your leadership and your business?

Organized for Success

I put a lot of stock in organization. Why? Because life, work and success are so much easier when you’re organized. It’s so much easier to manage your emails when you’ve got a system for processing and following up with them. It’s so much easier to follow up on people and projects if you’ve got all of their information organized and able to be easily found. It’s so much easier to keep all the things going on with your kids, your partner and yourself straight if you’ve got a calendar you update consistently. Life is so much easier when you’ve made a plan for dinners and other food needs for the week ahead and are able to do a single shop for all meals and needs rather than having to come up with everything last minute. It’s so much easier to achieve success when you’ve planned out a strategy and the steps on how you think you’ll achieve it.

There are two big challenges when it comes to organization: first that you have to set up your organization system in the first place. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort and decisions to get organized or set up your organization system initially. And you won’t always get it right the first time either, so you may set something up and try it out for a while and then either have to fine tune it or try a different organization system. Second, you have to keep up with the organization. Some people are pretty good at making that initial organization step, but then they never follow through on any of the upkeep that’s necessary to stay organized. Of course it’s a lot easier to stay organized if you make that first step to get organized, so don’t let that first step discourage you.

Can you do life without the organization? Yes, of course. But when you’re organized you don’t have to spend additional time regathering everything, researching everything again, finding all the information again, or trying to remember everything that happened or you did or didn’t agree on. Being organized means that you have extra minutes if not hours in your day that those who are disorganized don’t have. Being organized makes it easier for not only you but everyone else in your life because they’re not constantly waiting for you to put your pieces together. And being organized also means that when life is being distracting, difficult, stressful or you’re going through a period of being abnormally busy, you’re able to keep things moving at a relatively normal pace with less interruption than you would if you were disorganized. Being organized isn’t just about time though, it shows that you make an effort to plan things and anticipate what’s coming up in your life, it helps reduce clutter, and usually means you’ll be more productive and able to check off more on your to-do list.

What impact has organization had on your success or do you plan for it to have on your future success?

Business Lessons from a Painting Legend

Recently I shared a post about the late, great Bob Ross, who was well-known for years of seasons of TV painting shows wherein he would paint a scene in less than 30 minutes. He’s the soft spoken guy that just about every generation born since 1983 has heard of and has respect for. As I turned on another episode this week I was thinking again about why the show and Bob were so successful, and what we can learn from him for our own businesses.

Let’s start with something that’s necessary for every business: making money. Bob made income through the TV show and through selling painting related products, both of which are still income sources today even though Bob has passed on (plus there are books, DVD’s, classes and more you can buy now too). Something everyone has always found fascinating is that his money didn’t come through selling his paintings, like many artists would do. It’s actually really smart because if you’re limited to only selling what you can create, people have to wait until you’ve made more, and if you ever decide to not make any more (paintings or whatever) then you’ll be without income. Whereas you don’t have to stop selling paint products just because you don’t want to (or can’t) paint anymore. Of course if you want to sell paintings as well, that’s another layer of income for your business.

Next, let’s talk about the introduction most people had to Bob which was through his TV how-to painting show. It’s evident in the show that Bob has a ton of talent, but he also does a really good job of setting up someone who has at least minimal talent to create a halfway decent painting. From displaying the colors used on the screen, to sharing tons of tips on technique throughout the show (how to hold a brush or how much paint to have on it for painting something), to talking about how painting one portion of a scene is similar to painting another portion of a scene that people may have done before, to talking you through why things look a certain way (rocks are under the ripples in the stream), along with doing it with you and showing you the movements he makes while he paints, he sets you up to be as successful as possible through the show (which means you’re more inclined to try painting and very likely to buy his products).

Another layer of this introduction and Bob’s success, is Bob himself. Through the show you experience his confidence as an artist and as a teacher, he shows you how fun painting can be, the things he talks about and way he talks both make you feel like you get to know him personally (which makes the viewer want to come back for more), and you also get to experience his confidence in the viewer’s abilities to make a beautiful painting that both looks like his and is unique to the artist as well. His soft-spoken way also helps keep the viewer relaxed but engaged and more patient with themselves when they might get frustrated or overwhelmed with their painting work. All of this is great for not only increasing viewership, but also for selling more products to paint along with him.

There’s also something that sets him and his shows apart from many other shows and presentations that have been on TV (not to mention many other businesses): they’re timeless in a great and engaging way. Not every business can or should be timeless, some exist only for a time and that’s fine. But if you can get people want to watch and rewatch your shows and have the content be interesting and relevant even some 30 or 40 years later (and buy your products because they’re impressed with your work and then the quality of what you sell), it’s very important that you do your very best to respect that investment from your customers and community. It’s a great reminder that it’s possible sell your products or brand for decades as long as you start with something great, and then consistently and continually provide a quality experience and offering.

Everywhere you look there are lessons you can apply to your business to help you be more successful whether it’s in what goes on in your videos, how you make income in your business, what it means to be an engaging leader, or that those who are kind and soft-spoken can be successful, it’s up to you to apply those lessons though. What have you seen or experienced lately that has taught you a lesson you applied in your business?

Good Growth and Bad Growth

Growth. It’s what so many of us are dreaming of. Summer is a great time to talk about growth because of everything that’s growing in nature around us. I don’t have the greenest thumb, that would be my mother and her mother, but I do have a couple of plants that I’ve managed to keep alive, some for several years now. I want my plants to grow because I like to look at them, my mother wants her beautiful garden to grow because that’s her passion and the vegetable portion is tasty too, and the farm and garden centers want their plants to grow so they can sell them or grow produce to sell to stores. That’s all great garden growth. But out behind where I live there’s a large patch of weeds that’s completely out of control and just gets more wild with each day. I don’t mind seeing the green growth, but I don’t like watching the weeds take over buildings and wires and potentially cause damage.

What I’m really talking about here is two different types of growth. We often hear that growth is good, but is all growth really good? Do we really want mold growing on our tasty cheeses (when it’s not supposed to be there)? Do we really want to grow our collection of stuff to the point that we’re a hoarder? Do we really want to grow the pounds until we’re extremely overweight? Do we really want to grow our debt until we’re in such a hole we don’t know how we’ll get out? Do we really want the numbers of murders to grow each year? I could keep going, but I think you get the idea.

So how do we get to the kind of growth we want, the kind of growth that helps us create victories? The key phrase is “purposeful work.” This is when you do work that you know will help you get to the victories you want. When you work in the garden caring for the plants you want to keep and pulling the weeds, that’s purposeful work. When you wash the dishes so that you have a clean kitchen after dinner, that’s purposeful work. When you take the time to reply to emails regarding work with potential clients, that’s purposeful work. When you take the time to plan out your content schedule for your marketing, that’s purposeful work. When you take the time to track your expenses so that you don’t overspend, that’s purposeful work. When you make a plan with both an overview and one with lots of details on how you can accomplish a victory, that’s purposeful work.

So if you know the growth you’re looking for is found in purposeful work, what purposeful work will you do today? It may not get you from A to Z today, but gardens don’t grow overnight either. Commit to choosing purposeful work and start on that work today.

The Future is about Time

Time has been something people have discussed from the beginning of our world. We’ve always considered how we can fit as much as possible into the daylight hours, and then we talked about how we can extend the daylight hours, and now we have even extended work beyond that because of the internet. So our work and connection time has more than doubled from just daylight hours to any hour of any day. But even with the extension, if you will, of time on one level or another we’ve always been sensitive to how little time we have. Whether it comes up when we lose someone at a young age or we utter the phrase “there’s not enough hours in the day” about all we have to get done, or we are amazed how it seems like just yesterday we were in school and now we’re watching our kids graduate.

Since 2020 we’ve been even more sensitive to time because we’ve watched it go by so slowly and nothing was moving at a pace we were used to and there were no easy answers or easy fixes (no ‘easy button’ on this one!). We’ve become even more sensitive to our mortality and fragility, and as a result we’re a little more cautious as we return to our communities and our world and really stop to consider if we need to go back to what “normal” was. We’ve slowed down our lives on many levels and are really evaluating what the best use of the time we’ve been given is, and if things that will take up a lot of our time are really worth it.

But as I was reading a book that was a bit longer than usual the other day, and watching a movie that was a bit longer than the usual 90 minutes-2 hours, I was reminded that there are some things that it’s worth it to invest the extra time into. No, I’m not going to start writing posts that take 10 minutes or more to read, or start watching movies more frequently (an hour is really my attention span often), nor am I planning any really big/long trips any time soon. But every so often there is something to be said for going to meet someone in person instead of over video calls, or doing dinner instead of just a coffee, or really diving into a book instead of reading just a couple of chapters, or watching a whole movie all at once instead of stopping and starting it or only watching short episodes.

Maybe this new world that we’re moving into is really just us doing a better job of managing our time and commitments, and being more honest and true to what matters to us and what we find brings us the best returns to living our fullest and best lives. What have you been learning about or exploring in your relationship with time lately?

A Life Transformed

It never ceases to amaze me what you can learn about someone’s history. One of my favorite cultural icons is Bob Ross. Even though he passed away over 25 years ago, just about everyone, even the young generations have heard of him and his “happy trees.” So as I was reading through articles to potentially include in my business newsletter I saw one about Bob Ross and had to go check it out. And I learned something new, something that completely shocked me and yet explained so much about the icon that we know and love today: he was a drill sergeant for 20 years and spent a lot of that time screaming at recruits. Apparently he was even known for this!! His life and income changed when he discovered art which eventually morphed into painting art on TV and selling branded art supplies. And the rest is history.

I have to marvel at the dramatic change that Bob Ross made in his life from being a ‘screamer’ to being this quiet man who is so creative and deep and inspiring. So not only did he start with what may say is a solid foundation in the military, he then transitioned into an extremely successful art career, and was very prolific in it, creating over 30k paintings! It makes you wonder if he didn’t like who he was in the military, or if the best way he could make the transition to life after the military was to let go of how he acted and what he was known for.

It’s a story that has so many rewarding parts to it and sets so many great examples. It shows you can totally change your life from being one person to being another. It shows there is totally potential for doing something great with the second half of your life. It shows that even the quiet, soft spoken people can have an incredible career. It shows that greatness can start with humble beginnings. It shows that anyone can become a legend and inspire many generations after they’ve passed on. And finally, it shows that the creative arts do have potential as a career, and we shouldn’t discourage any kids from pursuing them if they’re really serious about them and have some talent to support that passion. So be encouraged and inspired by the greatness that is Bob Ross, and maybe take a little break this summer from being back to busy and sit down as a family and enjoy a little Bob Ross painting.

What Makes a Great Newsletter (or Email)?

I love a good newsletter. While we’re technically always in control of our technology, I love the freedom and flexibility we have with email especially because we can turn off all the notifications and aren’t likely to miss anything that can’t wait at least an hour, while we need the notifications for friends and family from our texts and calls. Yes, there certainly are great text marketing opportunities, and many people appreciate them because they don’t like email (or have let their email get out of control and aren’t using it well). But consistently, email and email newsletters have a great ROI, well, they do for companies who do a great job with their emails and newsletters. So today I thought I’d share about a few of the things that can make people open up your newsletters and emails more often.

Let’s start first with why I’m mentioning both newsletters and emails above. The simple answer is because we get a lot more to our inboxes than just newsletters, although that is the majority of what we get. We also get blog subscriptions, purchase receipts, calendar reminders, and communication about connections (work opportunities, publicity opportunities, meet-ups, social network updates etc.) emailed to us.

The big reason why email and newsletters succeed is because they’re consistently informative. With most things there’s some margin, so missing a send occasionally or not always hitting the mark 100% of the time with 100% of your subscribers/recipients is to be expected. But, if you want a subscriber/recipient base that’s happy to hear from you, looking forward to hearing from you and becomes more and more invested in you, get consistent with both how often you send and making sure that you’re always including information that most of your recipients will find informative. The consistency helps establish and grow a relationship and trust with your recipients and the informative information gives them the value and reason they need to keep opening your emails.

So in addition to being informative and consistently sent, what else makes great newsletters? Great newsletters often include a combination of some or all of the following content: personal updates, updates on work/progress being made, upcoming events to attend, sales/special offers, highlighted/featured products/services, and invitations to ask for help/ask questions. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that great newsletters (and emails) are mobile friendly, which means that they automatically adjust to fit whatever device or window you’re using (and I’m not talking about the font going to size 2 or having to scroll left/right to read it).

What do your customers and recipients say are the best things about the newsletters and emails your company or organization sends out?

Help Yourself to Success

I read a great saying the other day that takes a look at another aspect of success: “Help yourself, so you can help someone else.” I totally support taking advantage of the knowledge and experience of other people to shorten your own success journey. It helps decrease the failures you experience and get you to success sooner, which few of us would complain about. This works really well for not only the essentials of success like learning leadership and confidence, it also helps with advancing along a path that’s well travelled like being a manager or owner of a fast food store or clothing store or other retail store on or off line. I love the internet and being able to find a dozen answers to almost any question or getting help with almost any process with a few clicks or taps, even if you have to look through quite a few answers before you find one that really helps you.

But sometimes you have to go first or go beyond what currently exists. I know that when I sometimes do research for my clients I end up combining several answers and adding my own thoughts to what I’ve found, because the answers I’ve found aren’t sufficient or don’t include details I think are necessary. They’re great starting points, but not exactly what I needed. Or what about when you want to go in a new direction one that hasn’t been tried before like Lyft did or some of the finance startups? In that case you have some historical information you can follow as a guideline, but you’re really building a whole new success vision, so you can’t follow the historical information too closely. We wouldn’t have many of the advances that we do today if not for the men and women who went first and tried a new path.

And other times if you want to succeed and want to help others succeed, you have to focus on you. This is something we’ve talked about in the past when it comes to relationships and families, that if we want to help others, not only do we have to take those steps first, we also have to make sure we care for ourselves before we can help others. So many people in the world don’t want to lead but they’re happy to work with ethical, committed, compassionate, visionary leaders, and for companies who are making a difference in the world with their quality products and through quality service. It’s also true that while others may care about your ability to provide for yourself and your family or lack thereof, the only way success can be achieved is if you take action and make it happen. The world would be a very different, and sad, place if people stopped caring and stopped working hard for themselves and others.

So what steps will you take this week to support your success and the success of those you care about?

Start off Your Relationship Strong

What kind of foundation do you have with your partner? It can be so easy to ignore or forget the foundation of anything, largely because the foundation isn’t something you usually see. It’s either so far in the past or below the plane of the ground that it’s not something you see or it’s really easy to forget when you’re busy looking at all the current work that needs to be done and everything currently going on in your life. Thinking about the tragedy at the Florida condo building, like that building, most people look at what is seen from the street or if the bathrooms are moldy or other rooms in the condo are damaged to decide if you want to live there. Basements are often dark and not the greatest looking, right? Or what about relationships where it feels like one day you and your partner are a lifetime away from each other where you used to be so close and on the same page about everything?

There absolutely can be other factors that contribute to a failure, but when the foundation isn’t established properly initially or taken care of as time goes on, it can become a weakness that undermines everything else. It’s why couples who have been together for years still do date nights and go on vacations alone. It’s why homes and buildings get inspected regularly or at least when they’re sold/purchased. It’s why chefs often talk about how important it is to start with good quality ingredients rather than trying to cover up the inferior quality with sauces. It’s why (smart) business owners and employees invest in learning throughout their career and don’t just call it good when they graduate from college.

But let’s go back to the question that started this post: what kind of foundation do you have with your partner? Sometimes couples do start off rocky, whether that means they struggle and fight a lot, or they choose to stay together because of a pregnancy, or they date off and on for a number of years before choosing to commit to each other for the long term. Having a difficult start doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll fail, although it certainly sometimes does, but other times you’re more likely to succeed in the long term because of how you’ve fought to be together. Other couples who fail may start off with what seems like a strong foundation and life just gets in the way, or you or your partner experience something that changes who you are dramatically, or there’s not any one thing you can point to but bunches of little things just break what you have together.

I’m impressed by the couples who choose to recognize that something’s wrong and do the work to try to fix their relationship. And as much as it hurts to see a couple choose to separate, I have to acknowledge that sometimes that’s the best decision because there’s no fixing what’s broken, and remaining in the relationship as it is would just mean lots more pain for everyone involved. But most of all, I’m proud of the couples who always make time for each other, knowing that if they don’t take time for each other they’ll face some tough choices and decisions down the road. Even if you can’t do a big date night each week, making time to share an ice cream over a TV show each week or folding laundry together (or folding laundry while your partner irons), or cooking together (or making cookies!), or taking walks, are all great ways to spend that essential time together each week, building up on the foundation that you already have, and making more memories that will be there for you to smile and laugh on in the future.

As important as the foundation of your relationship is (and it is important), don’t let a poor foundation define the future of your relationship. I’ve watched enough TV decorating shows to know that foundations can be shored up, patched and fixed if they’re damaged, so don’t let a difficult foundation discourage you from growing into a great relationship that lasts and thrives. What do you do to help your relationship stay strong and healthy?