A Truthful Business

Do you pride yourself on having a business that tells your customers the truth? With President’s Day this week I was reminded of the old story (myth) about our first President, George Washington, about how he supposedly cut down a cherry tree and when questioned by his father if he did this bad thing he supposedly said “I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down the tree.” If there’s some truth to be found in the story it shows that not only was George Washington leadership material based on his battlefield leadership, but he also brought a level of honesty to the Presidency, something I believe is very important for a president who not only leads while he is in office but continues to inspire long after he passes.

If you follow the news you know that Alexei Navalny died what many see as a highly suspicious death in a Russian prison this week. One of the reasons why many say that he went back to Russia in the first place, why they couldn’t make him quietly disappear, and why he can’t be wiped out of the news or history books is because he was a leader who had an innate ability to reach people (which many leaders are envious of) and because of his belief in what the truth was and willingness to communicate that to the greater world.

While our willingness to tell the truth in our businesses isn’t likely to be life or death, it’s disappointing, frustrating, hurtful, tiresome and creates a lot more work for customers (and us). When a business either provides shoddy products or overstates the truth about their products or doesn’t follow through with availability based on what they say in their marketing it adds unnecessary friction between customers and businesses. Is there room for a little story or allegory or partial truth, yes, often there is. There are also several ways to communicate the truth without being nasty or rude about it. But stories, partial truth and flowery words can’t take the place of clear descriptions, accurate arrival times, team members who know the products and services sold, easy to find (and honest!) instructions and answers, or services working as they’re supposed to and not constantly error messaging. Most people don’t want all the bells and whistles or a ‘unicorn’ product/service, they just want something that works as advertised and makes their life better or easier.

Yes, shine the best light you can on what you offer and your business, but don’t make it out to be something it isn’t or can’t be because in the end that will only give you more headaches than successes. Be a leader known for your commitment to honest quality service, a leader who is building a business where people always know that they’ll get exactly what they need at a fair price, and maybe even a leader who provides an experience that’s worth coming back to time and again (and referring their friends to also). What areas of your business are you most committed to being honest in?

Honesty in Business

A simple business lesson for you today that is one of the biggest reasons you’ll fail or succeed: do as you say. If you’re selling your customers shirts, make sure the shirts are all that you promised they would be. If you’re a grocery store, make sure you’ve got all the foods your customers expect on a regular basis. If you say that you’ll offer a special discount to an individual customer, follow through on it. If you can give specifics for how long a deal lasts (as opposed to “a few days”), do that. If you tell customers you offer customer support, actually provide support that helps resolve issues and supports customers in successfully using your products or services.

Why does it matter so much? For one, it’s a matter of trust. If you’re doing as you say you will, if your products and services are what you say, then customers will know that the trust they placed in you was worth it. Every time you do as you say you add to the trusting relationship that is being built between you and your customer and the more trust they have in you, the more they buy from you and refer people to you. Second, it feels good! I don’t know about you, but it feels good, it feels right to be able to know that you’re meeting your expectations and living up to the standards you set for yourself and your business. I want to be proud of what I put into the world through my business, so obviously if I can’t practice what I preach or do as I say I won’t be proud I’ll be ashamed or disappointed in myself.

No one is perfect, that’s not what this is about at all, if it were I wouldn’t have mentioned the importance of customer service. It follows more along the lines of under-promising and over-delivering, but it’s really about knowing what you offer and being honest about it and delivering on that. Sure customers like to be wowed, but most of them are just happy to get what they want without any extras or shine. So what are you delivering? How can you do a better job with lining up what you offer with what you say you offer?

The Right Way, the Wrong Way, and Every Other Way In Between

What were holidays like at your home growing up? I shared on the other blog recently about how my brother and I would sometimes get gifts that we didn’t ask for but the other did at Christmas, which is sometimes an accident but other times people do out of spite or because they think it’s funny, and it got me thinking about how even in this holiday season that inspires us to patience and goodwill towards all mankind mistakes are still made and we still have preferences and opinions. Many people are super particular about how their tree is decorated and which ornaments go where, while others are just happy to have the festive greenery and decorations in their home. Some people would never dream of buying gifts online if they don’t have to, while others have fully embraced the online world for shopping and would be glad to never step foot in a store again. Some people love wrapping gifts while others know that they’re putting the fate of the gift in a dangerous place if they’re told they have to wrap it and can’t use a bag. Some families and friends practice gifting before the start of the actual holiday, while others only gift on or after the holiday. And then we get to the holiday foods and I’m sure lots of people will tell you that certain things have to be baked or eaten during the holidays, or else it’s not the holiday season and of course other foods can’t be included or added to the holiday celebrations, and yet there are others who are just happy to be with friends and family and don’t care what ends up on the table.

The point being? To some people there’s a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things, while other people will say that there’s plenty of flexibility as long as it’s in the spirit of the holidays or taps into one of the many beloved traditions. I would be pretty sad if there weren’t Christmas lights, candles lit, gifts given, carols played and sung, friends and family seen, and lots of cookies, but the exact nature and timeline of all of that I’m flexible with.

As you know this isn’t just something we deal with during the holidays, but it’s something we have to navigate through during the entire year. And just because it’s the holiday season it doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes, get distracted, or do regular human things, because we definitely do. Even when we think we’ve checked things twice like Santa does sometimes we still do the wrong thing and end up really screwing things up because we’re flustered or impatient or excited or panicked. I do believe that most of the time most of us get things right or so close to right the little imperfections, failures, slip-ups or misunderstandings part of them don’t matter or we’re in the head space to fix decently or we’re able to write them off on the perspective of those little things are character or culture or an extra “gift” (that’s how some of the people I get newsletters from refer to spelling mistakes that may or may not be accidentally included in the email). You got a “gift” from me the other day of a preview of a blog post from the other blog which has a series on peace on it right now. In some ways I think it’s good that we have those moments of imperfection to help us practice navigating them even if it never gets more awesome to have them.

I don’t know what gifts will be under your tree or around your Menorah this holiday season but the gifts of patience, listening, love, time, forgiveness, communication and flexibility never go out of style. They may be hard to wrap up in a tidy package, but they may be the best gifts you give or get each year.

It’s OK to Ask for Help

One of the many things that kids do but adults struggle with is admitting that they can’t do something or need help. No, they don’t always admit it right away and sometimes there’s a tantrum first, but sooner rather than later it gets to the point that they admit that they can’t do somethign like tie their shoe or build a house out of blocks and ask you to step in and help them with it. I’m sad that so many adults have lost that skill or ability along with so many others that kids have and yet somehow when we become adults we shouldn’t do those things anymore or believe that “that’s just for kids” or believe we don’t have time for certain things anymore that we did as a kid. But so many of those things we tell ourselves about what it means to be an adult are lies. We can have play time, be creative, fail or make mistakes, not know everything, and ask for help just like kids do.

I think one reason why is that we tend to build stuff up in our minds and it overwhelms us and we forget that it’s OK to ask for help regardless of how independent we’ve been raised to be and told to be as adults. Why is it when you’ve got a broken arm you don’t say it’s too big for someone to deal with and leave it alone, you go to a doctor and it’s perfectly acceptable to get help? But when it comes to our normal or everyday life and work problems we say they’re too big or overwhelming for anyone and no one will want to work with us on them because we know it’s our own fault that we got into this situation. But again, all those stories are lies.

Just because we’re not building block towers or coloring superheroes anymore and instead are working on relationships, parenting and fielding coworker challenges doesn’t mean that we can’t ask for help and can’t get help, because we can. We just have to do what the kids do and admit that we need the help. Not to mention that asking for help and explaining to our kids why we need the help and that it’s OK to get help is good for them too because it helps reinforce that asking for help isn’t just for little kids, it’s for everyone. And when you give them the explanation of why you need help to them it often helps you to realize exactly how OK it is for you to be getting help and that there’s no shame in getting the support you need to help you get from where you are to where you need or want to be.

So this week I encourage you to be bold and brave and ask for help when you need it. Ask friends to write recommendations or keep their ears open for available positions, ask a coach or consultant or therapist to help you work through a situation in your life, ask your partner to help you with something at home, and even ask your kids to help a little more with their homework and chores that they could help with around the house. I think you’ll be amazed at how much smoother things tend to go when you’re not slowing progress by being too hesitant to ask for help.

Learning from Failures and Mistakes in Business

One of the hardest parts of business and leadership is learning to accept and grow through failure and mistakes. As much as so many people would like to be perfect, people aren’t perfect and neither are businesses. Sometimes it’s an innocent mistake and something completely unexpected, other times basically you stick your foot in it and what was a small, fixable problem becomes something much bigger. If we assume that most people and companies are basically out to do good, and aren’t trying to be this year’s version of Enron or whatever ‘big bad’ you want to reference, can we come to a place where everyone is a lot less stressed and a lot happier about the whole buying and selling process? Yes, I think we can do better about handling our failures and mistakes.

One of the places I think peace about failures and mistakes starts is with honesty. In your marketing you can make an effort to not only show that your company is run by humans, you can also share some of the challenges you’re working on and how you’re working to improve what you offer so that you’re addressing some of the issues that people have had or some of the things that they wish you offered. You can also be conscious of presenting your company and brand and creating your marketing to not set a false expectation of perfection. Adding a simple line like “While we make every effort to make each transaction a great one, sometimes it doesn’t meet our expectations or yours…” to your refunds/terms page(s) is one way to indicate that you recognize that sometimes things go wrong and you’re prepared to work with your customers to make things better. And third, don’t waste your time lying about a failure or mistake if you know that errors were truly made (or results/claims were absolutely fabricated because you were trying to get ahead). Instead, claim responsibility and demonstrate that you’re committed to being the best you can be as a business and for your customers.

Then there are two questions that come up in regards to failures and mistakes are important to consider. The first question is: “could this failure/mistake/issue have been avoided?” The answer to that question is “sometimes.” Sometimes there are things that you just didn’t do right or didn’t take care of even though you knew it was an issue. But other times it’s a total fluke and there wasn’t anything that could have been done beforehand to avoid the failure/mistake/issue. The second question is: “could I/we have communicated better about this failure/mistake/issue?” And the answer is “99% of the time yes.” I get it, it’s hard to respond at your best when someone’s breathing down your neck or has a really big issue with something they expected to be one thing or another. Which brings us to the key about both of these questions, and that’s if you’re going to use what happened as a learning experience so that you can improve in the future and avoid the failure/mistake/issue developing into such an epic situation.

Finally is a very difficult topic that I talked a bit about in one of my recent newsletters: when is it time to call it quits? Failures, mistakes and issues will happen, but usually they’re small and can be overcome and addressed in ways that not only allow you to keep that customer going forward, but avoid that situation with other customers in the future. Yes, you will be discouraged, but don’t let those little situations destroy what is a solid business with great products/services, a great team and makes a positive impact 90% or more of the time, choose to fix the situations and move on. But sometimes there are just too many issues and situations and too much has gone wrong and it’s better to be done and not try and fix it all. Fortunately this is usually very specific to a person, product or service, and not the whole business, and you can simply let them/it go and move forward applying what you’ve learned. But if you are seeing a ton of red flags, there is no time to waste, you have to tackle those failures, problems, issues and mistakes before they do get to the point of no return and you do have to close your business.

What lessons have you learned in your business about failure, mistakes, and being a better leader and business recently?

Honest About Emotions

I’ve been thinking a lot about honesty and emotions this month, in part because it’s Pride Month. Also, all schools have or are wrapping up for the year as well, which is also the perfect time to reflect back, although at this point most kids are happy to just be done and don’t really want to think back, while parents of those who are graduating especially feel a whole range of emotions from pride to disbelief that their kids are that old already. There are many important lessons we should be imparting on the next generation, and one of the more challenging is about feeling and navigating through your emotions in general and with regard to the twists and turns that life takes you on.

Before there were computers and before going to therapists was acceptable, if you wanted to share your emotions there were diaries or journals you could fill in private, and some conversations were had with your closest friends. I’m thankful that at least that was (and has almost always been) acceptable, and while I wish it had happened sooner, I’m thankful that now it’s accepted to talk with therapists, share honestly with the greater world in social media groups and other private chat rooms, and even share the truth on podcasts and blogs.

But experiencing the emotion and sharing that you’re feeling those emotions is only the first step. The next step, and a very important one at that, is about how you’re going to work through, respond to and live with those emotions and the things and people that evoked them in you. If you really want to be the best person you can be, it is necessary to not only feel your emotions but navigate through them honestly. Sometimes and in some situations it will take you a lot longer to process those emotions and accept the changes or happenings in your life. Other times it seems easier to navigate the situation, possibly because you’re looking at a mostly good situation instead of something challenging you, although that isn’t always the case.

The worst things you can do are to refuse to feel your emotions, let them poison you, let them build up, let them scare you away from decisions and living, or shame others for feeling and expressing their emotions. Yes, emotions can feel big and overwhelming, but that should be an indicator of how big of a deal something is or how much something matters to you, not be the big warning sign that makes you stop and run in the other direction. So the next time a big emotion shows up in your life, take the time, however long it takes, to process it. Maybe for you that processing is done through thinking while you take walks, maybe it’s journaling, maybe you blog or podcast about it, maybe you talk with your therapist or maybe it’s something you talk about with a friend or your partner. Processing will give you the time and space to work through what you’re feeling and why, and help you decide on next steps or at least the person or people you’ll need to talk with about what the next steps look like. And don’t forget to be willing to give everyone else the space they need to process their emotions too, supporting them as they explore those feelings and being available to help them take next steps or just encourage them in their journey. What advice do you have about navigating emotions?

Reality Reflection: It’s Not OK

Each week on my other blog I end the week with a post titled Reality Reflection. These posts are on a wide variety of topics, not just faith and victories like the other posts I share on that blog, and sometimes they are a little harder hitting and deal with not only the realities but the tragedies of life. Whatever the topic of the post is, it’s a reflection on something that happened or is going on in the world or is something we might experience in the world. Not only is the post a challenge to myself to see the world in different ways, it’s an invitation for my subscribers to do the same. This week I’m bringing that post to this blog for a good reason, based on an insight I had in response to some of this weeks’ tragic events (Content Warning: yes, this post touches on some tough topics like guns, death, violence and mental health).

As part of the conversations we have about families especially on this blog we’ve talked about tragedies in the past like the tragic school shooting in Connecticut, the killing of 49 people at a gay nightclub in Orlando, and several times we’ve talked about 9/11, as well as talked about the ups and downs of life and business and how what goes on in the world affects us. This week families in Texas lost loved ones, mostly children, because of an illogical decision of a young man to take a gun and go shooting in an elementary school. In the days that followed a school near me had a bomb threat, which I heard about because I know some of the children who attend. As I was reeling from that and the news in Texas it took me back to being a young teen and being part of the Columbine generation, one of the kids who was in school when this tragedy shook the US (unfortunately it was not the first school shooting, there have been over a dozen that preceded it in recorded US history).

Of course in the days since this shooting, and all the other mass shootings that have happened, there’s a lot of talk about guns and how either we’re too restrictive and people don’t get their Second Amendment rights, or we’re not doing enough to curb access. While I do support the rights outlined in the Second Amendment for most people, I don’t agree that someone who has a history of violent acts (with weapons or without but have a history of threats that are acted upon) or has documented mental health challenges has the right to continue to do violence or have access to tools of mass destruction that they may not be able to understand the impact of. So yes, I do think there are some things that we can do to curb the violence from happening in the future so that other families don’t go though similar experiences.

But that’s not the point I want to make today. The realization I came to this week in thinking about these events is that when we don’t do something, which we really haven’t, we send a very clear message to kids (and honestly adults too) that it’s OK to go ahead and get these (accessible) guns and act on their unhappiness, frustration, hurt or whatever else drives them to take this path. I’m extremely thankful of the progress we’ve made in giving women and people of color and the Indigenous community rights, in making it OK to be honest and passionate about your sexual orientation, in bringing the family and relationship violence to light, and in being honest about mental health struggles and the desire to get help for them. We’ve come a really long way from where we were 100 years ago on so many things. And yet, people still think that it’s OK to grab a gun and go do violence. How many times have we warned our kids about “stranger danger,” yet when it comes to guns and school shootings, we’re too busy fighting among ourselves to do or say anything?

Yes, there will always be tragedies and many situations will be at least somewhat preventable because of measures or practices we put into place. But there will be fewer needs for such measures if we raise the next generation up to know that violence is not the answer, guns are to be used only for war and protection when all other options have failed, all sexual orientations and skin colors are to be celebrated and welcomed, and it’s OK to admit that you’re not feeling OK and you need help. It’s not OK that another group of families is grieving this week, and it’s not OK that another teen used a gun to share their feelings or make their point. Can we can turn the tide and disagree less if we focus on the issue from an education and acceptance perspective? Since we clearly have been so unsuccessful with the way we’ve gone about it thus far, I think it’s worth a try.

Dealing with Moments of Relationship Friction

Do you have points in your day that cause more friction between you and your partner than you would like? I realized the other day that one of the reasons I tend to be both excited and stressed out when my partner gets home from work is because I tend to live and work on a level 5 activity level (with 1 being lazy and no activity and 10 being hyper or high energy) and he tends to move on a 10 (at least until he stops long enough to realize how tired he is). So it’s a big shock to my system and the more relaxed pace of living and thinking I’ve been involved in before he comes home, and unfortunately since I didn’t realize what the issue was I was crankier and more frustrated with both him and myself until he settles down. You may be familiar with this type of stress because it’s how you feel about how your kids act when they get home from school. They’re not usually that crazy, but for an hour or so after school they’re more energetic (to be polite) than they typically are.

Back to my situation with my partner, could I ask him to tone it down and slow down a bit? Sure, but I understand how hard it is sometimes to slow down from when you’ve been pushing or working really hard, because I sometimes get into “go” mode too when it’s necessary, but that’s not my normal. And a big part of the reason this is even an issue is because I’m getting stressed, and I don’t want to be stressed by what should be a good and happy moment each day. So now that I’ve recognized the issue, I can better mentally prepare myself for the fast 180 that happens when he gets home, which will help make it less stressful for both of us. And rather than increasing friction for him when he’s working to slow down, it’s easier if I make some small adjustments (especially to my expectations!) so that it more peaceful and enjoyable for both of us when he gets home.

Even if I don’t ask him to make changes, will we have a conversation about it? Yes, because it’s important to share stuff like this when you’re in a relationship with someone. But sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you, and in this situation it’s me making some changes so that I can better support both of us and help our relationship have less stressed. The next time you get stressed about something with your partner, maybe the first thing you should do is stop and think about why you’re feeling the way you do and if there are some small changes you can make or suggest to help alleviate the situation, before getting all aggressive and frustrated with them and the situation.

Begin as You Mean to Go On

Ah, the annual day of setting resolutions. I think what frustrates me most about resolutions is that we resolve to do something for one year and have no idea what will be thrown at us in that year or how the world will change and impact any plans we had made (i.e. 2020). But there are some good insights in the ideas of resolutions that I think we can learn from and maybe even apply to this new year we’ve just been given.

First, a resolution is a choice. It’s what you decide you want in the new year. Sure, you may have asked others what they think would be good ideas for resolutions, or even stolen some ideas from others, but ultimately, it’s your choice as to what you’re going to do or try to do.

Second, while making a resolution is only the first step, it’s an important one. A resolution indicates that you know something needs changing, or is ready for growth, or no longer serves you in the way that it used to. People around the world deny their issues every day, so to choose to recognize that something can or needs to be done, is very important and shows courage and emotional maturity.

Third, I think it’s better to set resolutions and fail at them than not bother setting any or not making any evaluations on your life at all. Maybe this time around you won’t get much further on your resolutions than you have in previous years, but then again, maybe this year you’ll have a breakthrough and you will accomplish things you’ve put on your resolutions list this year. The one thing I know is that it’s rare to make changes unless you choose to and take actions to make them happen.

Finally, maybe you’re thinking too big. That’s right: instead of setting resolutions for the year, set a resolution or two for January and see how it goes. A month is a much more realistic time frame to work with and plan for, so when you see the progress you’ve made at the end of the month it can encourage you to set a new resolution for February or continue on for another month with this resolution.

Don’t discourage your kids, partner, friend, family or others from making resolutions just because they haven’t worked for you in the past. Instead, you’ve got three options: one, try resolutions again for yourself. Two, let them know that you’re there to support them if they are interested. And three, make a resolution with someone so that you’ve got the support and so do they. Do you set resolutions and what have you learned from resolutions you’ve set in the past?

The Open Job-Employee Disconnect

Time and again I’m reminded of the one thing that is guaranteed to make or break a company: the people. The other day I was on social media or reading an email and saw a headline about what one person went through in trying to get a job recently. You’ve seen the news just like I have about how there are all these open jobs and people unemployed and why aren’t these people filling these open positions, right? So while this article was only one person’s experience, they shared that for a month they applied to something like 3 or more jobs a day and by the end of the month they had heard back from something like 10 companies (out of 100+ applications) and were called for an interview with about 2, one of which was a total bomb because in the interview it was discovered that the job wasn’t what was stated in the ad (from job description to stated compensation).

Honestly, I do think 90 something percent of the world can be gainfully employed (or at the very least be able to make a positive contribution), if as a world we were willing to be patient, get creative and work with each other on the many needs of the businesses of the world. However, as the article I read, this article and others reveal, there’s a disconnect between people and businesses, and many issues existed long before everything got more complicated by the pandemic. Issues include dishonesty, lack of inclusion, poor or nonexistent leadership, abusive managers, insufficient compensation, actual responsibilities far beyond the initial job description, inconsideration of people’s responsibilities beyond work, lack of training, lack of support, unwillingness to be flexible with employees, nonsensical policies and requirements, and an unwillingness to listen to employees (or customers).

Let’s face it: in this day and age not only is a business interviewing the potential employee, the potential employee is going to do research on and interview the company as well. They’ll go and see what people say about you on social media and sites like Glassdoor, they talk to their friends, and they ask investigative questions in the interview to make sure the job and company what they are expecting. When they don’t hear from you in a timely fashion, when you have a list of requirements that seem unreasonable, when there’s contradictory information, when they come in for an interview and the employees seem scared/overworked/miserable, when what they see isn’t what you advertise, and/or when they do a virtual interview and the person interviewing them is clearly distracted, it makes it hard to want to work for you.

I find it so hard to believe that some businesses and business owners would treat their most valuable resource so poorly or with so little care. Yes, I know that business owners can have bad days or get overwhelmed just like everyone else. But there are too many who aren’t just having “one bad day” and it’s really a lot more than that, a bigger issue than that. Many people would be happy to take a job where they would be treated with respect, would know what to expect when they came into work, would have a supportive team they could be part of, would have the resources they need to do their job, and would be able to positively contribute to the future of the company even if the pay rate was “reasonable” (and not “best in the industry”). We’re already seeing a tipping point where employees no longer care how many jobs they work throughout their careers because they’re fed up with being treated poorly, and are more willing than ever to enter the difficult process of finding a new job because they want to be treated better.

My biggest concern with the job/employment issue is that some day soon the lack of care that a company gives their employees and potential hires will rain down on the customers, thus creating more problems than most companies can resolve before they have to throw in the towel and call it quits. Yes, people can be the most expensive line on your accounting ledger, but time and again they will return that investment 10 fold if given the support and the opportunity. What have you learned from your job applicants and employees recently, and what are you doing to provide a better employee experience?