The Passage of Time

It always fascinates me how different the end is usually from the beginning. I had a football game on the TV the other day and at the start the announcers were in their suit jackets looking all prim and proper, by the time we got down to the 2 minute warning they had their jackets off and sleeves rolled up. But the same is true for so many other areas of our lives. The appetizer round of Thanksgiving usually looks much different than dessert. August/September at school looks much different than June does. Your new house in the first year looks much different than it does in year 8 or 15. Your relationship with your long term significant other looks much different in the first years than it does after you’ve become an “old married couple” after being together for 15+ years. And we won’t even talk about how different we all look when we’re kids vs when we’re senior citizens.

But it’s also true that aging, or time passing, isn’t always a negative thing. It’s not bad to have a different finish than where you started. Yes, it’s exciting to have a fresh start to a school year, but at the end of the school year you leave with increased knowledge and new relationships. By the end of holiday dinners you’re hopefully relaxed and just enjoying each other’s company rather than worrying about food and seating arrangements. At the beginning of a project at work or around the house there’s a lot of anticipation and excitement about what might be, and by the end hopefully you’ve got something great to show for all the effort.

It’s just as important to start as it is to make it to the finish line. So whether your family is a month into the new school year or a week, like so many other things it’s important to remember that it’s a marathon, not a sprint, and there’s a good chance that the end will look much different than the start. Welcome in the growth and improvements and progress, and pay attention for the hazards or weak spots or areas of laziness that might crop up as you work along. And don’t forget to celebrate the start, the progress and when you cross the finish line.

Growing Through Failure

One of the most important factors to whether or not you’ll be successful or what kind of legacy you’ll leave is how you handle failure. Let’s face it: we all screw up and fail from time to time. If we don’t ever experience failures, then we’re probably playing it too safe, not taking any risks, never leaving the “box,” and not really growing. No, failures and mistakes aren’t fun, especially if they’re epic or wasteful (or cause serious, albeit accidental, harm to ourselves or others), but when we learn to take them in stride they’re less painful, we dwell on them for a shorter amount of time, and usually the amount of negative impact on our future is less.

What can most of us do to recover from or overcome failures better? We can: Have a support system of people with different backgrounds and experiences that you can turn to depending on the situation. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket ever, so that even if you do risk a lot, you’re never completely out of the game. Learn from each failure so hopefully you don’t repeat the same mistakes again. Know what your limits and lines are so that you don’t go beyond what would be considered a risk or growth opportunity for you. Do your research before making decisions so that you’ve given yourself the best chance to succeed in the first place. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that this moment is do or die. Don’t only accept perfection. And always come up with alternatives and next steps so that if one thing doesn’t work out, you’ve got other things you can turn to.

When you start out on a success journey with the aim to do your very best, to give it your full attention and to accept the lessons that you learn, even if you aren’t [fully] successful, you’ll feel good about what you have accomplished and hopefully be in a better position to do even better with the next journey. After all, what’s the point of learning from all these life lessons and experiences if we’re not going to use them to improve on our futures? What are your tips for overcoming and even growing through failures?

Succeeding Together in This New Year

One of the things I love most about the new year is how motivated so many people are to try new things, make changes and get things done. While it would be great if we were all really focused and productive during the majority of the year, that’s simply not the case for most of us. But if we do take advantage of this “new year” energy that surrounds us and really maximize things in January, hopefully we’ll make enough change or get enough done to help support us through the times in the year that we’re less productive or when we take necessary breaks. It’s always better to set goals or resolutions and start them but not finish them than it is to never make any progress or try anything new.

One of the challenges when it comes to success are the other people in our lives. No matter how hard we try or how much we may wish, we are only truly responsible for our own success. Sure, we can set things up or suggest action steps or offer support, but if the other person isn’t willing to try, won’t prioritize it, or simply doesn’t care, short of doing things for them (and usually we can’t do it all anyway), there’s little we can do about their success. Which brings us back to the new year, when so many people are feeling more motivated to take action, even if it ends up only being for a month. It’s a great time for all of us success-minded people to take advantage of the motivation that most people have in January to encourage them to get stuff done that we’ve added to our list all year long that requires their participation, especially the stuff that can be done indoors while the winter is doing what it does outside.

January’s get-things-done energy doesn’t last forever, but when people see that you’re more inspired during this month, how much you’re accomplishing, and the victories you’ve been able to achieve, it can give them the courage they need to step up and try their to-do list again. Maybe you won’t be able to get everything done, and maybe you’ll only begin to tackle your to-do list with the people in your life, but then again, maybe you’ll be able to plant some good seeds and start something good both for yourself and the others who are part of your success journey. What steps to success have you already taken this month?

Being Thankful For Success

Lately I’ve really been feeling the need to slow down. I’m not talking about slowing down our recovery and transition as a world through this pandemic, I’m all for moving forward and getting to a point where life and work is somewhat predictable again. The need to slow down has been more about a desire to just be, in time of quiet, reflection and, especially in this season, thankful. I’ve been thinking a lot about reducing distractions, finally conquering things that have been on my to-do list for too long, eliminating unnecessary steps, making better use of my time and making sure that there’s time in my life for both success and for me.

Lots has changed since 2020 started, many of the daily practices we had we’ve let go of or we’ve started new ones. Holidays haven’t looked the same and that’s been difficult, discouraging and depressing for many of us. Many of us, both individuals and businesses alike, depend on the holidays to end the year on a good note or even redeem the other months of the year. So to not really be able to enjoy the holidays as we have in years past, it’s been hard. This year whether you’re planning to gather with family and friends or not, I think we’re all in a better place mentally to appreciate and enjoy the holidays. And as excited as I am for all things Christmas, I’m planning to spend time in the next week or two being thankful.

When was the last time you sat down and really thought about the success you’ve accomplished, progress you’ve made and victories you’ve achieved? Are you grateful for that success and all the lessons you’ve learned along the way? I know some days it feels like there’s barely enough hours in the day to get all the work done that there isn’t time for being thankful and reflecting on your success, but especially this time of year and especially after how the last almost two years have gone, I think it’s more important than ever to make time to be and reflect on your success.

Even if you don’t have a super long list that needs checking twice of successes you’ve accomplished, I still think it’s a good exercise to help reinforce a positive attitude towards success. Sometimes success is easy, but usually there are challenges and surprises that spring up throughout our efforts, so the better prepared we are mentally to face all the challenges that we do, the better off we’ll all be. What successes are you most thankful for this year?

Time for Success and Reflection

I have a really hard time with success for success’s sake. I don’t believe we should be successful and accomplishing or working on goals just because it’s what we’re supposed to do or just because we should be constantly adding to and checking things off of a to-do list. I’m not saying that we should stop being successful, following our hearts, feeling the motivation, or stop dreaming (and living) big. I’m saying that there has to be more to success and life than just a checklist of things we’re doing or supposed to do.

What brought this on? The struggle I had this week with accepting that we’re past mid-October and almost through 2021,it’s almost Halloween and the official start of the 2021 holiday season and I feel like all I’ve been doing since July is success steps and I’m so busy going from one to the next that I’m even thinking about trying meditation just so that I can find some space in my head and life (I’m not great at clearing my mind so my past attempts at traditional meditation haven’t worked so well).

I think we should all work in our lives and have successes along with dreams, goals and be continually growing, but I know I sometimes have to do better about finding at least a little time in each day to stop and appreciate life and all the progress I’m making. Meditation is one option, but sitting with a tea/coffee in the morning or adult beverage in the evening looking out at the world (or sitting outside), taking a walk, doing Pilates/yoga moves (not with a DVD, show or trainer), coloring/drawing/woodworking, or while doing a puzzle are some other options as well. Basically whatever activities or situations don’t require input from anyone else, give you lots of space to just be and think if you wish, and don’t require a lot of effort or focus from you.

I think having this time of reflection and appreciation is almost just as important as the actual successes as well, it’s one of the reasons that I encourage readers and clients to make time for celebration in their lives, even if the journey hasn’t been completed yet or all steps to success done. What are your tips or insights about making time for celebration and reflection while staying motivated and continuing on a success journey?

Choose to Work

The past 18 months have been extra challenging on top of the challenges we’re used to facing. So yesterday on Labor Day we had a lot to celebrate with the people who have worked extra hard to overcome the many challenges we’ve faced and do their very best to keep our country and our world running as well as they could. Work has changed a lot in that time period, and those changes aren’t done yet as we’re not quite to a point in this pandemic that we’re able to really call life “normal” again (unless normal is going to look like life looks now, which I hope is not the case).

Some people and businesses have been very successful during this time, but others of us have really struggled to keep everything together, let alone moving forward. So for some of us Labor Day was a bit more somber and sober than in past years because we haven’t had tons of victories and successes from the past year to celebrate. But one of the biggest lessons about work that most of us have learned over the past 18 months is that there’s always some work to do, however large or small or not-quite-on-target it may be. For example many of us found success in our outdoor spaces with gardening, or cleaned up our closets that we’ve been stuffing stuff in for years, or finally cleaned up our email accounts and deleted or filed all those emails, or finally sat down and wrote that book we’ve been thinking about.

I know how distracting the past 18 months have been, and even when life isn’t quite as volatile as it has been, we still sometimes have to wait for someone or something to take the next step in our success journey, or we struggle with stress or mental blocks. So the wisdom that was shared with me yesterday and I’m sharing with you today is the encouragement to choose to succeed, even if it’s not on what you wanted to work on. No, I’m not encouraging or advocating for avoiding important tasks that you should be doing or need to be done. Obviously if something needs to be done and you’ve got the capability to get it done and it’s the highest priority, you should do it. And I’m also an advocate of taking rests and breaks when you need them. But that aside, most of us have to-do lists that will never be finished, so there is always something you can do to achieve a victory, create a success and keep life moving. What will you work on this week?

“However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at.” Stephen Hawking

Good Growth and Bad Growth

Growth. It’s what so many of us are dreaming of. Summer is a great time to talk about growth because of everything that’s growing in nature around us. I don’t have the greenest thumb, that would be my mother and her mother, but I do have a couple of plants that I’ve managed to keep alive, some for several years now. I want my plants to grow because I like to look at them, my mother wants her beautiful garden to grow because that’s her passion and the vegetable portion is tasty too, and the farm and garden centers want their plants to grow so they can sell them or grow produce to sell to stores. That’s all great garden growth. But out behind where I live there’s a large patch of weeds that’s completely out of control and just gets more wild with each day. I don’t mind seeing the green growth, but I don’t like watching the weeds take over buildings and wires and potentially cause damage.

What I’m really talking about here is two different types of growth. We often hear that growth is good, but is all growth really good? Do we really want mold growing on our tasty cheeses (when it’s not supposed to be there)? Do we really want to grow our collection of stuff to the point that we’re a hoarder? Do we really want to grow the pounds until we’re extremely overweight? Do we really want to grow our debt until we’re in such a hole we don’t know how we’ll get out? Do we really want the numbers of murders to grow each year? I could keep going, but I think you get the idea.

So how do we get to the kind of growth we want, the kind of growth that helps us create victories? The key phrase is “purposeful work.” This is when you do work that you know will help you get to the victories you want. When you work in the garden caring for the plants you want to keep and pulling the weeds, that’s purposeful work. When you wash the dishes so that you have a clean kitchen after dinner, that’s purposeful work. When you take the time to reply to emails regarding work with potential clients, that’s purposeful work. When you take the time to plan out your content schedule for your marketing, that’s purposeful work. When you take the time to track your expenses so that you don’t overspend, that’s purposeful work. When you make a plan with both an overview and one with lots of details on how you can accomplish a victory, that’s purposeful work.

So if you know the growth you’re looking for is found in purposeful work, what purposeful work will you do today? It may not get you from A to Z today, but gardens don’t grow overnight either. Commit to choosing purposeful work and start on that work today.

Success Through Small But Consistent Steps

Something I share about often with my clients and on my Life and Spirituality blog is the power of the little things. Little things aren’t big things, but how often in our lives, victory journeys and success journeys are we really at a point that we can make big leaps, take big actions, or go big places? Sure there are a few milestones that we hit throughout our lives and a particular journey we’re on, but those are usually few and far between. And there’s nothing wrong with that, because if we all lived for only the mountaintop moments, we’d be missing out on a lot of awesome stuff. Since success often has to do with money, let’s talk about a few examples of how even a few dollars at a time can really add up.

This week I’ve been getting a lot of emails from the author community sharing about one author who lost her husband at 45 from a sudden stroke. He was not only her best friend and significant other, he was a big supporter of her writing and helped with the marketing aspect. It’s been touching to read the stories from the authors who were able to meet him through conferences or other happenings, and a reminder that life is unknown and to treasure as many moments as you can. The reason I bring this up is because the authors are all encouraging their subscribers to pick up one of her books as a way of showing support (as one author lovingly joked, you can’t send casseroles through the mail so this is the next best option). Most ebooks are under $10, so that may not seem like a big help or make a real difference, but when you add up all those little purchases, quickly you get to hundreds if not thousands of dollars.

Another great example is a nonprofit I support that funds a significant portion of their monthly income on $10 donations. Sure you can contribute multiples of $10, but when over 1500 people contribute just their $10 each month, again, you’re able to realistically meet your funding needs without trying to tap people for large amounts, or rely on them to consistently donate large amounts (not to mention that this way you’ve got more people who are excited about what you do and can share with others who can also contribute).

The same is also true for coffee shops. Depending on where you shop and if you decide to get a treat to go along with your beverage, you’re paying between $3 and $10 per visit. Again, it’s not much, but when you get several hundred customers in the door each day enjoying your coffee and treats, those dollars add up. And speaking of dollars, the dollar stores (where everything is less than $5, and often around $1) are one of the fastest growing types of stores in the US right now. And finally, if you were to contribute a dollar a day to a savings account or other investment plan for the future, over the years you’d build up a decent financial foundation for your future.

So this week I encourage you to take the big steps when appropriate and make sure you celebrate them, but don’t overlook the power of small contributions either. What in your life or success journey would benefit from you giving it small but consistent actions?

Choosing to Ask for Help

One of the determining factors to your success is your ability to recognize when you’re not the right person for the job, or it’s a two-plus person job. I’m always thankful and amazed when I see how much one individual is capable of, because we’re incredibly capable beings, often able to do more than we ever thought we could, especially if we’ve got the motivation, determination and a team cheering us on. With appropriate resources and an internet connection and/or formal education, we’re able to do just about anything we put our minds to, especially within normal areas of work like communication, math, planning, and hands on work.

Most of us don’t necessarily need a partner or team, but often someone else can do something faster, better or with greater enjoyment than we can. So while we may be capable, that doesn’t mean it’s in our best interests or that we’re the best person for the job. You may be more of an idea person, and while you may be capable of bringing the idea to fruition, giving that idea to others who can plan it out and bring it to life allows you to think up more ideas and see details that others may be missing or not connecting that would make everything be more successful or easier.

Then there’s the other side of things, where you are over your head and you know that you can’t do it alone, no matter how hard you try, no matter how many hours you give it, or how much money you throw at it. It’s not easy for some of us to admit that we’re not able to do everything or that we need help, but I’ve found that sometimes when I don’t try to do it all on my own and I bring in others, we have more fun, we are able to come up with bigger and better plans, and of course the stress level is much lower. And it also just feels good to be part of a team making things happen, to not be relying only on your steam to get something done.

As you work towards your victories and successes and on your projects this week, I encourage you to consider if asking for help would make things better, easier, faster or smoother, even if that’s just asking for a listening ear to talk things through with someone. Don’t be frustrated or ashamed that you need help, be open to the potential of what working with others can also mean for them, not just for you and your needs. They may see that you need help but are waiting for you to ask for help, and are ready to assist however you’ll allow them to. Don’t assume that it’s going to be a burden or that they can’t give like you give to others.

Why We Celebrate Days Like Today

Today is International Women’s Day. I was really thinking about not writing about this today, but then I got to thinking about why we have days like today. We have things like International Women’s Day, African American History month, Endangered Species Day, Veteran’s Day, Memorial Day, Valentine’s Day, Black Lives Matter and even birthdays and anniversaries for a reason. Because while success (and life) is something that’s almost always a group effort, made up of big and small contributions often over a period of time, the fact is that these aren’t nameless, faceless bots making the contributions, they’re individuals with unique attributes, cultures, backgrounds, personalities, preferences and passions.

It’s often impossible to really recognize and celebrate the work that each person contributes, which is why we do have days like this and the others I’ve mentioned, why we take time in our little circles to do our best to recognize individuals, and even why we have monuments with names on them so fewer contributions are forgotten. And with the creation of the internet, we’re not only able to gather and share each person’s story for many years after they’ve lived, we’re also better able to make connections between individual contributions to advance our contributions and the contributions made by others.

Days like today are a reminder to stop and think and thank the people in your life who are recognized on that day. They’re also an encouragement if you fit that category to step up and make your best contribution and be the person you were put on earth to be. They recognize that no one’s life is pointless and that everyone can contribute something whether they fit a traditional mold or not. So on this International Women’s Day who are you recognizing today and what have they taught you, how have they inspired you and/or what impact have they had on your life or the life you’re blessed to live?