Your Success Story

Are you into art or architecture? Even if you’re not, you’re probably familiar with some of the most famous names like Picasso, Leonardo da Vinci, Degas and Frank Lloyd Wright. But if you talk with someone who does know art, they’ll tell you that each artist has a specific style that’s all their own and that usually you can tell which artist painted something just by looking for certain tells. I’m not that skilled but I certainly know that it’s possible for each artist to leave their unique stamp on each work of art they create. I’m a little better off when it comes to architecture or even literature and can do a better job of seeing those unique attributes that are specific to an architect or writer.

I think this should be one of the goals that we have when it comes to success. Yes, we can paint or create a building or write a book, that’s one level of accomplishment and success. When we make it uniquely ours we jump up to a completely different level of success that some people never accomplish, either because they don’t think they can do anything unique or don’t feel the need to do anything more than the minimum that’s necessary to accomplish the goal.

Why go to the effort of creating your own style or putting your own fingerprint on something? Because when we’re gone it’s a very tangible way for people to remember us. I was reading an obituary for a dear friend who passed away recently and was really blessed by how closely it sounded like him and how it told his story with the humor and passion that he was so well known for. Our success journeys are another opportunity for us to leave our mark on the world. No, we don’t have to go crazy or try to create a name for ourselves that’s know around the world for decades or even centuries after our death. But it’s nice to know that people can look at the work we’ve done, be able to point at it and say that they know the person who did it, and be proud of what we’ve done for many years after we did the work. What do the things you’ve created, the work you’ve done, say about you?

A Celebration of Dads Who Do the Little Things

With the celebration of Father’s Day tomorrow in the US I have been thinking a lot about the great dads I know and the ways they give to their kids. This year I’m celebrating dads who give their whole heart to their adopted kids, take time out of their day to be the one to take the kids to the doctor (again), pick up a drink or snack for their kids when they’re at the coffee shop for themselves, buy their kids something special at the grocery store because they know they like it, make something different for each kid for breakfast and dinner (those options really add up!), go on coffee/donut runs after school/work with their kids, attend the daytime school events their kids are in (even if they just stand at the back and duck out immediately after their kids perform), go on “vacations” so the kids can see places and do fun things (even if the parents need a vacation after the vacation), put down their phone and listen to the stories from school that their kids share at the dinner table, make fun ice cream sundaes for the kids, read the same books to them (again!) before bed time, and the list goes on.

The thing I kept coming back to as I thought about Father’s Day and these days over the past few days is that so many of these things are so inexpensive or take so very little of your day yet they mean so much to the kids. Yes being a dad (being a parent) is a big responsibility with a huge time commitment (no one commits to 18-60 years of anything anymore) and a huge financial commitment, and if all you can really do is commit to the time aspect and be there for everything for your kids, that’s something they will definitely remember and value when they’re adults. Because even if you can’t give them the lengthy and expensive trips to the theme parks or destinations like Paris and Australia, they won’t feel like their childhoods were lacking if you show up to everything and always are invested and interested in what goes on in their lives.

So maybe Father’s Day this year is a day of rest for you or the dad in your life, that they get that gift of being able to have some downtime. Or maybe the best gift they can get and you can give is to spend that time together as a family, because sometimes even the really invested and awesome dads who spend a ton of time with their kids just want that time to be together because they know as everyone gets older it often gets harder to get everyone together. But whether or not you’re able to be together on Father’s Day, if you’ve got a great dad in your life make sure to let them know that you’re thankful for them and for all the little and big moments they’ve spent with you.

Don’t Let Your Story Get Lost

The other day I was watching a documentary on one of my favorite topics, ancient Egyptians. This documentary focused on one of their contemporaries to the south: the Kushites. If you’re familiar with ancient history or ancient Egyptians, the Kushites are a people group that you would be familiar with by name, but probably not with the degree that you could really say much about them, and part of the reason for that is because of how wrapped up in the history of the Egyptians their history is, and therefore how many assumptions have been made or things overlooked until only recently. Of course for historians and archaeologists that means something incredible as this documentary revealed: their cities and buildings weren’t necessarily as subject to destruction or looting as many of their Egyptian counterparts were (although they have been vulnerable to the fighting in Sudan over the past decades to an extent), which means that it’s possible to find many more artifacts in situ than in many locations in Egypt.

What does any of this have to do with business? Of course first and foremost it’s a reminder that everyone has a story, even if that story isn’t told often or in detail. Second, how easy it is for your story to get lost compared to the stories of others who are much bigger than you are and therefore have more resources to dedicate to not only preserving that story but also getting it out into the world. Third, don’t discount anyone’s story, including your own, because it could be absolutely incredible (the ruins that are left from the Kushites are spectacular and breathtaking in ways that you don’t see throughout all of the Egyptian sites). Fourth, be proud of the story you have! Finally, share your story when you’re given the opportunity.

As they reminded in the documentary every story is worth finding and telling the truth about because each story matters. You and your story may not impact or relate to millions of people like some stories and people/companies do, but your story matters to the people who it’s meant to matter to. The work you do is very important to the people who love your products and services. It doesn’t matter to them that you’re not the big guy on campus, what matters is that the work you do is done with heart and commitment to your people. Don’t discount your story because it could be a very important building block in the story of a people group or the world. What are some of the things you’re proud of in your (hi)story?

Mentored to Success

Who is your wisdom partner for the success journey you’re currently on? This fascinating question is inspired by one of my favorite blogs that I read daily, from Chip Conley and other wise souls he connects with. The other day Chip shared a post about three questions one might ask to find some wisdom, one of which was about the value of having a mentor (or being one!) when working through a challenge, but why limit it to just when you’re being challenged? I know how much has changed from the time that people who we would consider to be mentors were born to today, but I still feel that the lessons they could teach us or at the very least the support they could offer would be invaluable to not only our lives but our successes as well.

One of my favorite reasons to have a wisdom partner is for their perspective. In general I always love hearing another person’s perspective about something I’m not 100% on, like a goal I’ve never worked on before, because I know that my views aren’t the only ones out there and I could be missing something. But gaining the perspective on a topic from someone who has a lot of experience and has seen many (many!) things including specifically the goal(s) that you’re working on can help you find a shortcut or, maybe more important, better understand what it will take to get from where you are to where you want to be.

The other reason why it’s beneficial to have a mentor or wisdom partner for your success journey is because they can bring a depth and level of life experience to the journey that you can’t create out of thin air. Yes, this is tied in with the previous point, but often what comes up here is stuff that isn’t directly related to your journey but still helps you become a better person or helps you explore avenues you never would have considered that are directly or indirectly connected with your success journey. You don’t need a mentor to accomplish your success journey, but having one can make it a richer, fuller, more emotive experience that will help you not only win this success journey but also better prepare you for what comes next.

Whether a mentor is someone who is more of a partner with you on your success journey and spends a significant amount of time working with you, or is just someone you touch base with from time to time, I think we would all benefit from having a mentor relationship or two in our lives. Who has been a mentor that you’ve learned a lot from?

Lessons in Leadership: Santa

For our last leader of the year I thought we’d take a seasonally appropriate look one of the men of the Christmas season: Santa. The fact that a fictional character could even be considered as a leader worth profiling gives a clue to not only how recognizable he is but also the enduring impact of his legacy for hundreds of years now (all the way back to Saint Nick in the 4th century!). Let’s talk about what we can learn from him as a leader and some things we can apply to the new year that’s just around the corner.

First: Santa knows all about planning. Yes, leaders know how to act on their feet based on rapidly changing information, but there should be a lot less of that because they did a really good job planning ahead. There are multiple important aspects to the plan that makes Santa a great leader. First, there’s a specific timeline: 364 days of gift creating and sled packing and 1 day of delivery. We’ll allow for the holiday magic that makes that one day possible, and focus on the 364 days of creating and packing because that’s what’s really important here. He doesn’t make them get it all done on different schedules, or some years shorter than others, it’s always the same so both he and the elves know how much time they have for planning and strategizing and learning how to create new toys before they have to get to creating. And he knows if he has more gifts to create and there need to be new elves hired, there needs to be different technology implemented, or other changes made, everyone understands the timeline they have to work with and how long it will be before they’re behind based on past experience.

Second: Santa’s got a great story. Every leader knows how to weave a story that touches on the emotions not only on their customers but also on the team that’s supporting the leader. If Santa hadn’t come up with such a touching story and plan to impact billions of kids’ lives, it would be a lot harder to want to work that hard 364 days of the year for the elves. And Santa wouldn’t be a household name that has been around for hundreds of years if the people of the world didn’t believe in the magic this time of year and that there’s someone as generous, kind and community-minded as him who will consistently show up every December 25 with presents for good girls and boys.

Third: Santa has a specialized team. While I’ve never met an elf, I have to believe that they’re an incredibly specialized team of individuals. I don’t think Santa would put up a post on any of the popular job sites to do interviews with anyone who loves the holidays, he only works with the best who have specific skills and a heart for the work. I’m sure that makes it hard for him to find enough elves each year to keep up with demand, but considering that his reputation and that of his team hasn’t tarnished, clearly he’s still going the distance to make sure that the elves he hires are not only a good fit with the company, but also good at what they do.

Finally: Santa understands legacy. Not every organization or company will have a long term impact of hundreds of years, most exist for a season and then they’re not necessary or they’re demand has changed. Santa managed to create a service that will always be in demand, will always have a place and purpose (unless everyone in the world becomes independently wealthy and there’s world peace), and doesn’t have to change the core of who and what they are to connect with each new generation. There’s nothing wrong with having a seasonal (pun intended) business, a legacy business is not necessary or right for most businesses. But if you do decide to build a legacy business you have to consistently provide the quality service and quality product that you started with and understand the responsibility you have to not only all your people, but also to the story that is beloved by generations that got you started and has helped you thrive this long.

What could you learn about being a leader from this legendary figure?

Lessons in Leadership: Queen Elizabeth II

Last week the world lost a treasured leader: Queen Elizabeth II. For 70 years she ruled over the UK and other parts of the world that are tied to the UK. I’ve shared about her in other writings before because as a leader she’s been on my radar for as long as I’ve been thinking and talking about leadership, plus, as a woman it was such an honor to have her on the world stage being who she was for as many years as she did. So, like so many other people I am thankful for her many years of leadership, inspiration and service, and thought we’d take this month’s leadership blog post to take a look at some of the reasons why she was such a great leader and what her leadership can teach us.

As a leader she was incredible because, as so many people have commented, of her enduring presence (it seemed like she was always there and would always be there). She was incredible because she led well for 70 years. She was incredible because her leadership wasn’t perfect yet she was always respected to the day she died. She was incredible as a leader because she was consistently present and active as a leader from working with big world leaders to “common” citizens. She was incredible because she thrived even as a woman. She was an incredible leader because of her relationship with her late husband Phillip. She was an incredible leader because she loved learning. She was an incredible leader because she had a good sense of humor, a kind smile, and love for her family. She was incredible as a leader because she navigated so many different kinds of changes and challenges by and large successfully. She was an incredible leader because was 110% committed to the vow she took and people she led as Queen.

One of the things that’s so fascinating about her leadership is that it’s all connected. Her enduring presence is tied to how long she ruled and her continued commitment throughout her leadership. Her incredible tenure for a leader is tied to her being a woman, which is tied to her personable nature. Her success at navigating challenges is tied to her willingness to learn and to the years she ruled. Her successful leadership with people of all backgrounds is tied to her love of family, relationship with her husband, kind smile and active presence.

The Queen was someone we can look at who showed us that it’s possible to be human and be a good leader and be able to balance it all relatively well throughout our lives. I know that she was under far more pressure and far more scrutiny most of us will ever have the opportunity to try to navigate or have to face as leaders, but if she can do all she did for 70 years, I think we have a duty to step up and be the best leaders we can be for the 10, 20 or even 50 years that we may have the opportunity to be responsible for. If we’re able to lead with a measure of her strength, courage, backbone, kindness, commitment, and humanity I think we’ll do her legacy proud and inspire the next generation of leaders like she did. What lessons in leadership did you learn from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth?

Thanks for the Memories

Do you believe in ghosts? I know, that question really belongs in October in discussions about Halloween, and it’s still early in September. But I ask the question on this day that we honor Grandparents as well as those who died on 9/11. I ask this question as we as a world give thanks for the very long and respected life of Queen Elizabeth II who passed away on Thursday. Some of the people who study the field of ghosts and the afterlife say that sometimes what is experienced is a memory being replayed over and over in a spot, for example when people see Civil War soldiers or parts of battles from the Civil War, and others say that some people stick around in some way after death because of their memories of a place or person. While I’ve never seen a ghost or had that type of experience personally, I know the power that memories have, so it’s not hard for me to believe a memory could impact someone so strongly that part of them just can’t (or chooses not to) be done with this world.

One of the hardest things about loss is the fact that you no longer have the opportunity to make any more memories with that person. There will be no more baking together, no game day arguments, no more digging in the dirt, no more building sand castles, no more church services or small groups, no more holiday meals around a big table, no more marathon phone sessions, no more vacations, and no more of the thousand little things that you don’t remember but were all part of what you loved about that person and were part of your relationship together. Which is why it’s so important to make the memories you can while the people you love are still alive.

But I don’t want us to make memories with the focus of “this might be the last time I see this person so this has to be perfect,” because that’s a rather depressing and negative way of living your life, not to mention the incredibly high pressure it places on you to get everything right all the time. I know it can be hard to not think that way, especially after the blender ride our lives have gone on since 2020 and how many people have died that we didn’t expect to lose so soon, regardless of how much we recognize that each day is a gift and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Instead I think we should just be thankful for each opportunity to be together and celebrate the fact that we’re here to make another memory.

As difficult as it is to lose someone you love, even someone who was blessed to live as long as Queen Elizabeth did, sometimes you have to make a choice between how strongly you’ll let the grief of loss consume you and if your sole focus is on the loss and what no longer is, and if you’ll let that grief be tempered by thankfulness for all the time you did have with them and all they were able to do throughout their lifetime. It doesn’t dry all the tears but it does make your heart feel a bit better when you are told story after story of how incredible this person was, the special memories others have of them and the lasting impact that their life will have on the world, in addition to the memories you have of them and your times together. We won’t all have the impact that the Queen did or the ability to leave such a visible and tangible legacy, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t leave a legacy behind that not only we’re proud of, but can support and be a comfort to those who love us after we die.

And maybe, just maybe, the best way we can honor those who go on to the next life before we do is to live our lives fully. To build relationships, to make new memories, to do things that remind us of the people we loved and have lost and honor them too, to find new opportunities, to build our own legacy that can speak for us and impact others in the world long after we’re gone.

Lessons in Leadership: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

Sunday, August 28th, is the anniversary of the March on Washington in 1963 and his “I Have a Dream” speech, so I thought it would be appropriate to talk about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr this month. As I was doing some research for this post and looking back through photos taken of him, I was struck exactly how young he looked in them. Dr. King was known for his words, his faith, his strength of character, and his leadership. To so many he seems larger than life, and I think as a result we sometimes forget that he was killed when he was 39. Let’s take a look at a few things we can learn from his life to apply to our lives and leadership.

One of the things that impresses me the most about Dr. King is the progress he made. I’m sure that he wished he made more progress (and that we made more progress than we have since he was killed), but he’s a great example of a leader who kept trying, kept pushing, kept working, kept connecting, kept speaking up, and kept going even in the face of many challenges. Of course he wanted more and faster progress, but that didn’t stop him from sticking to his values, doing the best job he could, and continuing to push forward. Are you as committed to making progress in your business and with the people who you lead? Are you accomplishing at least something each and every day that will help move your business, your team, your customers and/or your community a step forward?

Another lesson we can learn from Dr. King was his willingness to have conversations with and get connected to people. If you go and read some of the articles out there about Dr. King and his work, you’ll see that it reads like a who’s who of the times because he knew so many people. Yes, some of that was because of how big of a name he was for the civil rights movement, but I think it is also about who he was. One of the biggest reasons why I think he made so much progress is because of his ability to connect with and work with both those in leadership and those who are part of the “masses.” Are you working as a leader to connect and partner with other leaders in your local area (even if you’re a mostly virtual business)? What about other leaders who have a similar leadership or business perspective? How much time do you devote to connecting with your team and employees or the customers you serve? Investing in people always pays good dividends.

Finally, Dr. King was both a present-day and a visionary leader. What does that mean? It means that he lead on topics that were important in his time, for example seating for everyone everywhere all the time, as well as topics that were part of a better future for everyone that weren’t so tangible, for example the famous lines from his “I Have a Dream” speech where he talks about “One day…” and all the things that he hopes will one day happen if they all come together for positive change. No, every dream and every business isn’t something that will be relevant today and in the future (50+ years from now), but often the case is that we can work on both the present and future, building something that’s important and helpful today, as well as will have a positive impact on the future. Even if you don’t have a business that will last forever, that doesn’t mean that you can’t focus on the impact that the products/services your customers buy from you today will have on their future (for example the memories that a family will make around a table with the food they bought from you for that holiday celebration).

What are some of the things you’ve learned from Dr. King about leadership and being a leader?

Leadership Lessons: Nelson Mandela

This month I thought we would take a look at one of the leaders I greatly respect: Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela International Day was celebrated earlier this week on the 18th, his birthday, and as it has been every year for the past decade or so it’s always inspiring to be reminded of the work he did and life he lived and what we can learn from it. Whenever you look back at a leader from history (in this singular case defined as before internet existed or was really a thing) like Mandela or Dr. King or Lincoln or even Washington, I sometimes wonder how their impact would have changed or exploded if they would have done if they had internet. But it’s also impressive that the words they spoke, the experiences they had still speak to us today, are still relatable today.

Mandela’s story largely begins where many stories begin: with the decision to become better educated, and in his case he studied law. But Mandela’s story doesn’t stop with studying law when he was young and before he got into trouble/good trouble, it was something he pursued as seriously as he could throughout the years he spent in prison. Why? Because not only was it a good way to pass the time, a more educated person always has a better opportunity to connect with someone and understand what’s going on in the world. Mandela’s a great example to look at when it comes to education because he proves that you can learn even with lots of other stuff going on in your life. In his case it was the restrictions he had while he was in prison, but for us that’s the responsibilities we have in running our businesses. Even if you know you don’t have a ton of time each week to learn, subscribe to a handful of curated email newsletters (including like mine) that can keep you up to date on what’s going on and what might help you grow your business.

Which ties in with our next lesson, which is the importance of building relationships. Mandela was a master at building relationships, being willing to talk with anyone and one of the most important things it takes to have true relationships: willingness to listen and work together. One of the keys that helped Mandela do so well with relationship building, is that it wasn’t about politics, it was truly about working together for a better future, which is always a better foundation to build a relationship on than politics. Throughout his years in prison and then when he was President of South Africa and beyond Mandela made a point of getting to know people and the sheer numbers of people who honored him when he passed, speaks to exactly how effective he was at building relationships. His two keys to success can be ours as well: listen and be willing to work together for good.

Third, one of the funniest things I found in my research was that there 80% satisfaction rating for his presidency. If a president, someone in politics, can gain an 80% rating, can’t we do the same in our much less controversial fields of business? No, everyone won’t always love you or what you do or what you offer and you won’t always get it right, but that’s something that even Mandela recognized and accepted. But as I’ve dealt with more customer service issues this past week, I’ve been reminded that we shouldn’t be striving for an 80% rating once, we should be striving for that positive of a rating (or better!) all the time, which means continually working on it. And that high satisfaction rating should encourage you to keep those customers happy and engaged with your business, and you focused on making your business the best it can be for those customers.

Fourth, we can learn our place from Mandela. Mandela, like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and so many others recognized that it was highly unlikely that he would solve all the problems he set out to fix in his lifetime. The fact is that even with the likelihood that many people today live beyond their 85th birthday, it still takes a long time for true transformation to take place. With all the setbacks and struggles that he experienced in life, it’s pretty incredible that Mandela accomplished as much as he did, and that impact was honored when he was given the title of the Father of the Nation. Now, I’m not great at history or keeping track of history’s timeline, but I’m positive that South Africa was formed and existed hundreds of years before Mandela was born. So it doesn’t matter at what point you come into the transformation, your job is to keep that transformation going, add the experience you can to things and be the leader that will help things get to the next step of progress.

Our final lesson for today comes from the fact that his life sentence was reduced to a 27 year sentence. One of the most important things I think we’re here to do as leaders is to bring hope and to never give up on being able to do better and be better for the people we’re leading. How do we keep the hope alive? With a change in perspective. Focus on one more happy customer, one more person who is passionate about your brand, one more person with a great skill set who comes on board with your team, one more year of helping people, one more person who you were able to help with an issue and therefore able to keep as a satisfied customer, one more person whose life you have made better. Focus on growing and being the best leader you can, not on the obstacles that are stopping you from being the leader you may dream about being of the business you dream about having. The best way to make your dreams a reality is one day, one person, one conversation at a time.

What wisdom have you learned from Nelson Mandela’s incredible life?

Reality Reflection: It’s Not OK

Each week on my other blog I end the week with a post titled Reality Reflection. These posts are on a wide variety of topics, not just faith and victories like the other posts I share on that blog, and sometimes they are a little harder hitting and deal with not only the realities but the tragedies of life. Whatever the topic of the post is, it’s a reflection on something that happened or is going on in the world or is something we might experience in the world. Not only is the post a challenge to myself to see the world in different ways, it’s an invitation for my subscribers to do the same. This week I’m bringing that post to this blog for a good reason, based on an insight I had in response to some of this weeks’ tragic events (Content Warning: yes, this post touches on some tough topics like guns, death, violence and mental health).

As part of the conversations we have about families especially on this blog we’ve talked about tragedies in the past like the tragic school shooting in Connecticut, the killing of 49 people at a gay nightclub in Orlando, and several times we’ve talked about 9/11, as well as talked about the ups and downs of life and business and how what goes on in the world affects us. This week families in Texas lost loved ones, mostly children, because of an illogical decision of a young man to take a gun and go shooting in an elementary school. In the days that followed a school near me had a bomb threat, which I heard about because I know some of the children who attend. As I was reeling from that and the news in Texas it took me back to being a young teen and being part of the Columbine generation, one of the kids who was in school when this tragedy shook the US (unfortunately it was not the first school shooting, there have been over a dozen that preceded it in recorded US history).

Of course in the days since this shooting, and all the other mass shootings that have happened, there’s a lot of talk about guns and how either we’re too restrictive and people don’t get their Second Amendment rights, or we’re not doing enough to curb access. While I do support the rights outlined in the Second Amendment for most people, I don’t agree that someone who has a history of violent acts (with weapons or without but have a history of threats that are acted upon) or has documented mental health challenges has the right to continue to do violence or have access to tools of mass destruction that they may not be able to understand the impact of. So yes, I do think there are some things that we can do to curb the violence from happening in the future so that other families don’t go though similar experiences.

But that’s not the point I want to make today. The realization I came to this week in thinking about these events is that when we don’t do something, which we really haven’t, we send a very clear message to kids (and honestly adults too) that it’s OK to go ahead and get these (accessible) guns and act on their unhappiness, frustration, hurt or whatever else drives them to take this path. I’m extremely thankful of the progress we’ve made in giving women and people of color and the Indigenous community rights, in making it OK to be honest and passionate about your sexual orientation, in bringing the family and relationship violence to light, and in being honest about mental health struggles and the desire to get help for them. We’ve come a really long way from where we were 100 years ago on so many things. And yet, people still think that it’s OK to grab a gun and go do violence. How many times have we warned our kids about “stranger danger,” yet when it comes to guns and school shootings, we’re too busy fighting among ourselves to do or say anything?

Yes, there will always be tragedies and many situations will be at least somewhat preventable because of measures or practices we put into place. But there will be fewer needs for such measures if we raise the next generation up to know that violence is not the answer, guns are to be used only for war and protection when all other options have failed, all sexual orientations and skin colors are to be celebrated and welcomed, and it’s OK to admit that you’re not feeling OK and you need help. It’s not OK that another group of families is grieving this week, and it’s not OK that another teen used a gun to share their feelings or make their point. Can we can turn the tide and disagree less if we focus on the issue from an education and acceptance perspective? Since we clearly have been so unsuccessful with the way we’ve gone about it thus far, I think it’s worth a try.