With Thanks to Those Who Succeeded Before Us

One of the reasons why I think it’s so important to have “history months” (Black History Month, Women’s History Month etc.) and other days/weeks that we recognize periods of history or people in history is because so much of our present includes parts of history. Some examples include that the home we live in has existed before we moved in, maybe even before we were born. There are plenty of streets around the US and the world that have been walked and driven on for maybe even hundreds of years. We read books that were written 2 or more years ago. We compare current leaders in politics, business and philanthropy to past ones. We have sports fields and gear very similar to what they played on/with decades ago. We celebrate some holidays the same way they did hundreds of years ago. We still ride trains, some more modern than others. And of course we have people in history to thank for inventions and discoveries like x-rays, Penicillin, peanut butter, lightning rods, pencils and pens, the printing press and the telephone.

Have we discovered or invented some really cool stuff in recent years and decades? Yes, of course. But many of those successes are built on previous successes that happened decades or even 50+ years before. Because those people who came before us did great things, we’re able to do great things. It’s a team effort that crosses the boundaries of time and sometimes even geography or language (which is quite frankly cool and a legacy to be proud of).

No, not every success was one that directly impacts our lives today, so we don’t have to aim that high with every success journey we undertake, but it should encourage us to not only give our best efforts in case it does, we should also take a moment to recognize the people and parts that make up, inspire, begin, or helped bring us to this point. Why? Because it gives those people recognition, recognition they may not have gotten in their lifetime, and it’s a moment of humility to help us remember that we’re not alone in our journey and might not have gotten as far if those other people hadn’t played a role. Who do you have to thank for your success today?

No Excuse Not to Be Informed

I was talking with a friend who is going to be doing a little traveling in the coming months and we were talking about how they were looking to fill some time in between friends they had committed to visit and got to talking about what we didn’t learn in history class over the years about US history and different parts of the US, possibly because it’s not where we lived during history class. Of course some of this learning was done before computers or before the internet was the resource of information that it is today which is a huge difference between not only education today but also our ability to say “I don’t know.”

As I’ve shared many times before I don’t believe it’s necessary to know everything or be everything to everyone, but when with a few clicks of the mouse or pushing of a few keys you can get answers to questions like if a product is simply out of stock or is discontinued, how to do a cooking technique (rather than limiting your food choices), what a world leader or legendary transformative figure is doing now, what a word means, or skill lessons to improve your chances of getting hired, why wouldn’t you? If there’s a major event or conflict or leadership change happening somewhere in your area, your country or the world, why wouldn’t you take a minute and do a quick internet search to find some answers so that you’re aware of what’s going on and who’s involved?

Does it matter if you’ve got an awareness and working knowledge on what’s going on around the world and in your area? Yes, I think it does. Just like we’ve seen over the last two years with the pandemic, it’s more likely that many or all parts of the world will be affected by something than an event or change will be isolated to affect only one area because we’re truly a global world now, not a world made up of different and separate countries; we’re all connected. Again, I don’t think we need to be experts or be able to write books or create lectures on every topic, but we should have knowledge of what’s going on because it’s so easy to become informed.

Encourage your kids to search for answers to their questions, do your own searches, commit to exploring our world and learning about the world that we all share and don’t pretend that something won’t affect you or someone you love in some way. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ is a well-known statement, and while you may experience bliss for a time because you don’t know something, it’s better to be informed before something upends your world than trying to play catch-up while also dealing with the changes and potential fallout. How do you stay informed about what’s going on in the world and in your work industries?

A Case for Addressing Problems, Not Results

This month I read Upstream by Dan Heath. While it was an informative book and worth the read, it wasn’t my favorite book of his. The premise of the book is focused on helping stop problems before they start, which sounds pretty awesome when we think about the number of things that go wrong on a day-to-day basis as a business owner. Wouldn’t it be nice to eliminate some (or many) of those problems? Not sure you understand how it’s possible? The example Dan uses in the book talks about how if you’ve got a whole bunch of kids who are drowning in front of you, of course you’ll work hard to rescue them, but what if you were able to stop them from getting in that position and needing to be saved in the first place?! Sounds good, right?

I wish it weren’t the case, but “upstream” work isn’t just straightforward with ‘of course we’re going to do this’ rationale. Like other things in business, many of these opportunities are optional to a degree. In the drowning kids example technically you don’t have to stop them from getting in the imperiled position, all that matters is if you save them or not. But why would you put in the extra, and repetitive, work into saving every kid if you can stop a significant percentage of kids from getting into that situation in the first place without doing excessive work beyond the effort and cost that you’re putting in to save them anyway? But, because it’s optional and you’re “winning” either way, why bother?

Why bother? Because if you decide to step up and fix the problem at the cause rather than the result, it can be a positive indications about your future success and longevity as a business and business leader. Why? Because when you fix the problem rather than the result it’s clear that you know/understand/can see value, and know that it’s often worth it to to invest in prevention. You also show that you’d rather be proactive and prevent issues than fix them. You show that you’re aware of not only the direction you’re going but you’re able to evaluate if it’s the right direction, the direction you want to go in. And finally, you show that you recognize opportunity, and a business has a hard time growing and expanding if it can’t see opportunity and doesn’t tap into it.

One last bit of wisdom Dan quoted in the book from Maureen Bisognano: “Be impatient for action but patient for outcomes.” One of the other really big challenges with choosing to be an “upstream” business or taking upstream action is that it’s not always easy to provide data on how successful your efforts are, or you may not see the data (or results) showing up in big clumps immediately. You can’t say how many kids you saved today because you don’t know how many didn’t need saving thanks to your “upstream” work preventing the issue (of course you can say how many fewer kids you had to rescue this year over last year). But as Dan and Maureen shared just because you don’t have immediate results or data, doesn’t mean you have to wait to take action. In fact, doing “upstream” work is exactly the opposite: you take action so that you don’t see the same problems showing up in your business day in and day out.

You won’t be able to fix every problem or avoid every situation, but if you fix things or make them better to begin with you’ll have fewer issues to deal with and you’ll have happier customers and employees because they don’t have to get help with, resolve, return, or redo things. Have you tried applying the “upstream” concept in your business, and what successes have you seen?

Success and Leadership

Today is President Washington’s birthday and yesterday in the US we celebrated President’s Day. To become president is an incredible level of success. Even if you aren’t in support of the person who is elected, the fact that they had enough votes to become elected should say something to you about people believing in them and believing in their ability to lead our country. As long as there is a consensus, we personally don’t always have to like a leader to respect the fact that they were chosen, and give them a long enough chance to listen to what they have to say and give their plans a try. When done well leadership is an interesting mix of the leader leading and doing the work and building a team around them that they can trust to delegate to.

When you commit to being a leader you commit to being responsible for the people you’re leading as well as the team that’s helping you lead. You commit to doing your best, bringing your A-game, tapping into resources that you find available to help support you and your people, and to face obstacles and challenges with patience and swift action when necessary. And you commit to a definition of success, which for leaders with an eye to the future are those that include wins for the most people possible now and in the future. If you can’t commit to doing all those things, maybe you’re not ready to be a leader yet, or you should be prepared that you probably won’t be very successful as you (or someone else) could be.

Successful leaders are those who people trust to get things done, and the leaders have to trust their team in return. Of course you never know exactly how anyone on your team will respond or react when they’re faced with a challenge like they’ve never seen before, but if you believe in the person and respect the work they’ve done in the past, you’re probably picking someone for your team who will be a good team player and support to you as a leader. Leaders also have to trust their supporters will give them the time and resources to make successes happen, knowing that some successes can take years to find the right proverbial key to fit the proverbial lock.

Success is similar to leadership in that sometimes you have to be the first to step forward and take action, and sometimes you have to trust others to support you in areas where you’re not as confident or capable or just don’t need your personal touch to be done well. Leaders have to be good at finding that balance or knowing when they have to step up or when it’s best to pass something off to someone else. They can’t be jealous of the talents of someone else, but rather they should be thankful that they’ve got people on their team that excel in areas that they don’t.

Finally successful leaders know that you can dream all you want, you can celebrate the successes of others all you want, but neither of those things will help you get to success. It’s important to make time to dream and have visions and state those visions for the team and the people you’re leading. It’s also important to celebrate the successes that other leaders and teams have. But until and unless you and your team step up and put action behind your dreams and visions, you’ll never be able to be successful.

Every day we have the choice if we’re going to do our best to make the day a success and what kind of leader we want to be that day. What will you choose today?

Sacrifices and Gifts

What does it mean to love someone? Sometimes it means making some sacrifices in your life. In some ways we’ve been conditioned to believe that sacrifice is one of those dirty words and unhealthy actions and that it’s something we should avoid. And yes, sometimes sacrifice is big and scary and should be very seriously considered before any decisions are made or actions taken. But sacrifice isn’t always big and scary, sometimes it can be normal, healthy, and even positive. As I was thinking about changes and sacrifices and the way that two people (a couple in a committed relationship) work on meshing and living their lives together, food came to mind as the perfect metaphor for the most positive way sacrifice can work.

Think about a package of chicken thighs you bought at the store earlier that day, a butternut squash and a couple of zucchini you just picked out of the garden (or bought at the store) and how unappetizing or even deadly it would be if you just put all of that on the table and told your family to have at it. If you want to eat the chicken you have to cook it so it’s not unhealthy, and butternut squash and zucchini are also much more delicious when they’re cooked. The “sacrifice” of cooking the food is worth it in the end to have the gift of a delicious, and healthy, meal.

The thing I came back to as I was thinking about sacrifice in relationships is that if it’s a true partnership like I often talk about, 90% of the time the sacrifice has to be a daily give-and-take from both of you. Sure there will be some times when one of you works a lot harder or gives a lot more (for instance during pregnancy or sickness or following surgery or when someone is without a job). But that shouldn’t be the norm, and if it is or it seems to be then you or they or both of you aren’t doing something important: acknowledging, asking for or accepting a sacrifice or gift in return.

Maybe it’s as simple as not recognizing the gifts one gets for sacrificing for the other, but it very well could be that someone isn’t speaking up and asking for their needs to be met. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in proportion or having the same needs to be fulfilled (i.e. we have to both make the same amount of money or be caring 50/50 for the kids or switch off cooking every other day), the sacrifices have to be things that each of you appreciates. For example maybe your partner really appreciates coming home to food that’s ready or can be heated up, that you take care of making sure the bills are paid, not having to worry about how you’re going to make ends meet (because you have a well-paying job or career or business), or you do most of the driving for the kids. Maybe you appreciate massages, uninterrupted bath/shower time, sleeping in, a cold beer on the back deck alone, or chocolate that no one is allowed to steal because it’s hand crafted by an artisan where you two went on your honeymoon.

Successful partnerships are about learning to thrive in the relationship which means lots of communication, giving and taking, sharing when you’re overwhelmed or unhappy or confused, and appreciating the blessings that each of you have because of how much the other gives (sacrifices) to the relationship. What’s one gift or blessing you have because you’re in a relationship with your partner?

Lessons in Leadership: Abraham Lincoln

This month I had a bit of a hard time choosing the leader to feature because there are so many important happenings and celebrations this month from love (Valentine’s Day) to heart health month and Black History Month, not to mention that we also celebrate two President’s birthdays and President’s Day as well. And while I may highlight a couple more people at the end of the month, for our leadership profile this month I decided to focus on Abraham Lincoln. He’s a bit like a unicorn in the world of leadership because he was so well liked, he was respected, he was successful, and he has left a lasting legacy that still holds up well over 100 years later. No one is perfect or loved by all, Lincoln included: he was disliked by some for his commitment to freeing the slaves, some didn’t think he was the greatest parent, and some I’m sure didn’t think a man who was born and raised poor should be the leader of the country among other things. Yet for so many reasons he’s a leader that we can learn from and admire.

Lincoln was known for his love of books and learning. I think this is truly the defining factor in his ability to be elected and re-elected as President as well as how he was able to lead in the incredible way that he did. Born into a very poor family, it was through his willingness to learn and use that knowledge, his effort to work for all people and his commitment to them that he became a lawyer, entered politics, became a political leader, and then became president in 1860. I believe his well-read background gave him the foundation to speak so well through his Gettysburg Address and also aided him in being instrumental in having the discussions that helped bring the Civil War to an end. Lincoln certainly is proof of the transformative power of education, reading and learning as the key for being successful and being a leader that not only makes incredible changes and progress happen, but is also well respected and able to connect with just about anyone.

Shortly after the Gettysburg Address and shortly after he began his second term as President, Lincoln was assassinated. No one wants to leave life when so much is unfinished: he was only 56 when he died, had just begun his second term as President, and there wasn’t a formal end to the Civil War yet. I can’t imagine the positive impact on our country if Lincoln had lived long enough to complete his 2 full terms as President. But Lincoln didn’t know his ending any more than we do, which speaks to the importance of taking action, growing relationships, making plans, always doing your best, and not letting any opportunities go to waste. It’s not about rushing your successes or expanding your business beyond what you’re capable of, but about recognizing how precious life is and how valuable it is to jump on opportunities when they show themselves (which also means you have to do your best to be prepared for anything at any time).

Finally, Lincoln left a positive legacy. Everyone leaves a mark on the world, some are more obvious than others, some are more lasting than others, and some impact more people than others. One of the choices you make when you become a leader is about how focused you will be on the impact your business (and life) has on both the present and future as well as the legacy you’re building. Lincoln and his descendants should be proud of the impact he had on his contemporaries and the direction the US took in finishing and in the years after the Civil War, as well as how his life and principles are used as guidelines and examples for people living many generations later.

What insights have you learned from the leadership of Abraham Lincoln?

Reminders of Success

Self confidence is a challenge we all struggle with from time to time. Some of us have greater struggles with it than others do, meaning that for some of us it’s a blip on the radar of our emotions and life once in a blue moon, while others of us have questions race through our minds daily about our worth or strength or ability to contribute or place in this world. One of the ways I think we enhance and perpetuate our self confidence/self esteem struggles is because of our focus on the future. I know, that sounds strange, especially since success and victories only happen when we move forward in life. Staying back or letting fear block us usually means we’re not going to be successful, because only in a couple of situations is “waiting things out” and not taking any action a good strategy.

Something I’ve been coming back to recently is how important it is to take time to recognize and celebrate our successes. In some ways that’s what we did on Monday with Valentine’s Day which is accompanied by very visual reminders to show your significant other some love at least one day each year with all the pink and red hearts and chocolates and reminders to buy jewelry and plan reservations at restaurants in stores and on TV’s wherever you go. But what about other successes? They don’t all come wrapped in bows, or with big trophies, or are symbolized by rings we wear on our fingers for so long that the skin behind them is a lighter color than the rest of our finger. But maybe they should.

Maybe what we need for helping fight self esteem and self confidence low points are reminders around us of exactly how capable, how loved, how successful we are. Yes, sometimes things like trophies or status symbol (i.e. cars, houses, brand labels etc.) become more of a bragging thing instead of a support and encouragement to us, but I don’t believe it always has to be that way, especially if we’re always checking in with and aware of our attitude and working to stay humble and giving back from the blessings we receive. So what if with each work victory you achieve, each new level of success you reach, each project you complete, each staircase of growth you work through you buy a new and symbolic charm for your bracelet, or invest in completing a house project, or keep a running list on a wall like the height chart we used to keep as kids, or as silly as it may seem buy a medal or trophy to hang on the wall to recognize the big progress you’ve made?

Until we are doing a better job as a world with recognizing the progress we make on a daily basis I think we may need to be more visual with our reminders of how we’ve succeeded, if for no other reason than to remind ourselves exactly how capable, talented, smart, creative and successful we actually are. It’s not about reliving the past or trying to repeat the past successes just because they worked in the past and with no real thought to the future, but about reminding ourselves that we have done great things in the past, and therefore we can do great things again in the future. Do you have reminders of what you’ve accomplished in your life?

Celebrations of Love

As a romantic I believe that there’s at least one partner out there for each of us. Maybe we’ll meet ‘the one’ when we’re young, have many good years together and then they’ll die and we’ll just enjoy the rest of our life with family and friends. Maybe we’ll meet ‘the one’ when we’re young, they’ll die and we’ll meet another ‘one’ and spend our last few years enjoying that relationship along with our family and friends. Maybe we’ll go most of our life alone with family and friends and meet ‘the one’ when we’re getting older and enjoy the last decade or two of our lives with them. And maybe we’ll meet ‘the one’ when we’re young, but it won’t work out between us and we’ll never marry, and then months or years down the road we’ll meet someone else and they’ll end up being ‘the one’ we spend the rest of our life with in happy love.

I know not all relationships end in death, some end in divorce, and that’s OK, and I believe those relationships happened for a reason and we learned something because of them. Hopefully they helped us grow in some way and prepared us for the next stage of our life journey, maybe even to meet our ‘one.’

In some ways I think Disney and the fairy tale stories have it right, because few partnerships exist without a challenge or two to overcome. Maybe we wouldn’t define those challenges as “adventures” or “exciting” but as much as we enjoy the good moments, we wouldn’t grow individually or grow stronger as a couple in the same way without those challenges. Sure we can choose challenges like taking on a new skill or learning new recipes but it’s not the same as navigating major surgery or challenging job changes. With give and take, a mutual commitment to sacrifice for the good of the relationship, the partnership becomes stronger and you feel more confident not only about your own life but about the partnership as well.

Sacrifices aren’t always easy to accept or navigate, sometimes it can take weeks or months for everyone to get on the same page and feel like things are doable. Which is OK because there’s no rule that says you have to fight proverbial dragons in the same way or on the same timetable as another couple. What matters is your commitment to the relationship, to the health and happiness of both of you (and any kids you have), your willingness to work through every situation and sacrifice together, and your commitment to find at least one day in the year to celebrate your love and each other. So if Valentine’s Day is the day you celebrate your partnership, that’s great, but if you prefer to celebrate in the middle of the summer or it’s just a random day each year, go for it, because you have to make time for the celebrations to remember that life isn’t just challenges and changes, there are so many great moments worth celebrating too, not to mention all the reasons why you’re together and love each other. What will you celebrate this year?

Questions Help Businesses and Customers

Just like change, death and taxes are inevitable, I’ve decided questions also should be on that list. Whether we’re asking questions or they’re being asked of us, questions are how we decide on an option (would you prefer the sweet potato fries or regular fries?), understand something that we’re confused about or need more information about (you said to follow the path, I see multiple paths, which one should I follow and are there signs?), get to know someone (what are some of the things you love about being in customer service?), or ask for help (would you be able to get that box off the top shelf, please?). Questions are great for checking in with people, discovering motivations or how choices are made, learning and strategizing. They can be the tool that helps your business move into the future if you use them, or if you avoid them you can be stuck in the past and not grow.

It’s just as important for customers to be asking questions as it is for us businesses to ask questions. Questions are important for helping us make sure that we’re able to provide the best service possible to our customers, figure out and then help them resolve any issues they may have, and make sure that we’re doing the best we can for our team and the future of our company (as well as our impact on the world).

Sometimes the best thing you can do as a business is anticipate questions that customers will ask and provide that information as part of your marketing or other informational/promotional materials or sales conversations. For example, a customer contacts you about installing 3 new windows from a certain brand they know you sell in a room and while they ask about your availability and your pricing, they don’t ask how long it will take or permitting requirements or issues that you may run into. These may be questions customers don’t know to ask, and if you’re really here to provide the best service for your customers this is information that they should know up front. Sure, you can avoid those questions and maybe you’ll be able to get away with doubling the amount of time it should take to install the windows (and charger your customers twice as much), or not get any permits (even if they’ve been necessary sometimes in the past). But most people have at least some common sense, and know that it shouldn’t take more than one day to replace windows, and ask questions and possibly get mad at you (also likely leading to a bad review and never using your services again) because you didn’t share that information up front.

Questions help you support your customers, and other times questions can help you out. The other day I got an email from a business asking if their email subscribers would be willing to share a post on social media about an upcoming event they’re part of. I love that they were willing to ask, even knowing that they may not get a large response. It’s important to note that I can’t remember them ever asking for subscribers to share about something for them, so it’s not like they constantly look for free promotion and don’t ever invest any in partners or marketing. As the old saying goes, you never know if someone will help until you ask. If you make your questions clear and easy to answer, your requests easy to follow through on, and you don’t constantly ask, you’ve got a really good chance of hearing from people.

Questions are a great way to grow your business as well as build relationships with your team and your customers. Have you been asking questions lately? Have you been listening to and taking action on questions your customers are asking you? I encourage you to to not be annoyed by questions, in fact the best thing you can do is be excited by questions and the opportunities and information they bring with them.

A Question of Growth

As I was working on my business newsletter for this week I read a quote that I thought was important to share with you today:

“We’re all living in public now, and we’re all going to say and do a lot of things. Some of those will be gems! Many won’t. The question is whether we’ll grow with the circumstances — questioning the absolute necessity of offices that were closed for 18 months, or pausing to think about how we choose to speak to each other online.”

This bit of insight comes from this article by James daSilva, and interestingly enough his discussion mirrors some of what I’ve been reading in my business book of the month (Upstream by Dan Heath). I absolutely love questions. I think they’re one of the biggest, best and most enduring tools in our arsenal to help us be more successful, have better relationships, be healthier, live a more fulfilling life, and make sure that our planet will be around for many generations to come. There are several different types of questions and purposes behind the questions you can ask, but the questions we’re talking about here are those that are helping us understand why we do things, why things are happening and what’s really important or necessary for not only where we are but what’s in the future.

The question the quote highlights is: what growth will you choose? Will you choose to grow within the box that you’ve been living in (which means your growth and future potential are limited to how big your box is), or will you step out of the box and let your growth potential be as unlimited as the sky? Will you be part of helping others grow or will you be so self-focused that you can’t see or don’t make time for the contribution you could or should be making? Are you asking the questions that will help you fight the fire for now, or help avoid fires in the future? Is your success journey getting stuck on what you’re dealing with in the present or are you making the time and asking the questions that will help you then make adjustments to the journey that will get you better and smoother successes with more wins for you and others too? What questions will you ask this week to help you grow?